The usual complaint after losing a close game is the immortal cry, "We wuz robbed," but the Red Sox literally were taken. New York police captured their man, who allegedly stole the loot right out of Fenway Park.

Who knew that venerable Fenway Park could be so easily assaulted and violated?

If the culprit was not inspired by the Ben Affleck movie about taking down the “Cathedral of Boston,” then movies have truly lost their luster.

In case you haven’t heard, Long Island District Attorney Thomas Spota said that they are charging Jamie Pritchard Holland with possessing the stolen property of Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, and items from illustrious Fenway Park itself.

A sometime Nahant, Massachusetts resident, Holland apparently is not a native of the Bronx, and there is no tie-in to the Evil Empire. He gave a story of selling the items to pay for a sick relative’s surgery, another bogus tale.

Some might say that Youkilis’s first baseman mitt is no longer worth anything now that Adrian Gonzalez has sewn up Golden Gloves at first for the foreseeable future.

And, what are we to make of Dustin Pedroia’s cleats vanishing? It’s not like the major base stealers of Jacoby Ellsbury and Carl Crawford have been hampered by the missing cleats.

How grand is this larceny? Well, when you manage to walk off with the ‘380 FT’ sign out in the ramparts of the outfield, you have won the chutzpah of the year award. The crook also stole third base, which Jacoby Ellsbury only does now and then.

The items, which were taken before an auction to sell them, were valued at $25,000, according to an ESPN report. The most complete account link is here.

Cynics are claiming this is small potatoes compared to the salaries some Sox players take out of every gate at Fenway when they play or don’t play.

Neither the Long Island District Attorney, nor local Boston police are revealing how the culprit managed to flee the jurisdiction, or how he was fingered.

One may presume these items were going up for sale on the nearest Internet outlet. In an age when sports memorabilia is all documented, lest it be deemed fake, one wonders how Mr. Holland planned to have a certificate of authenticity when he fenced his stolen loot.

When his auction site went public, police could easily match his memorabilia to the stolen items. A police raid recovered the Sox equipment before the public bid on the property.