Pro cricket team Mumbai Indians fired one of their blonde cheerleaders, Gabriella Pasqualotto, for blogging.
Please pick yourself up off the floor. Yes, pro cricket has cheerleaders! Cute ones.
Now they've got one less because that one less could write, actually very well, about the goings-on during cricket after parties and flirtations and behind-the-scenes shenanigans..
But here's the kicker: Gabriella was encouraged to blog. The Mumbai Indians knew she was a writer when they hired her.
They wanted her to write "The Secret Diary of an IPL Cheerleader." They just didn't expect her to be so honest.
They apparently thought when Gabriella wrote "The music pumps, the drinks flow and the cricketers come and go..." that what she was writing wasn't ... er... um... cricket.
Well, yes it was. It was sticky-wicket cricket. Here's the end of that sentence: "the real fun happens in the VIP rooms where the players and night owls can cause scandal."
Then she goes on to name names, "The likes of Jonly Rhodes and Albie Morkel are notorious for having a good time with friends!"
Well, that could mean anything. Not worthy of a pink slip. Having names like Jonly and Albie is notorious enough.
Then she continues " 'Ol Graeme Smith will flirt with anything while his girlfriend lurks behind. The Aussies are fun but naughty."
Again, nobody should ever get fired for saying Aussies are naughty. It's not surprising.
They're from "down under." That's naughty enough right there!
Aussies are naughty. Mel Gibson frequently identifies a Hollywood policewoman's breasts by their glycemic content.
You can root during a cricket match but if an Aussie does it, it has a different meaning. Aussies can't do anything without it being naughty. So Gabriella should get a pass here.
Maybe it was this statement that got her canned: "By the end of the evening, a certain someone was playing kissing catchers with three girls known to me only."
You can see how the conservative Mumbai officials might be taken aback. Kissing catchers? She needed to add a glossary for her blog. And then "three girls KNOWN to me only"? What was she implying by "known?" Biblically?
Then her blog continues "although he had his own girlfriend back home. He cooed to each girl 'Come home with me, I just want to cuddle.' "
Again, any cause to lose her cheerleading job? Blogging about cooing cuddlers? Seems pretty tame to me.
So what was bad enough to warrant a dismissal? Gabriella Pasqualotto comes to India all the way from South Africa with an invitation to be a pro cheerleader, encouraged to blog about her cheerleading adventures and then when she does a good blogging job, she's fired.
Maybe she was fired because she revealed discreet instructions, things like when traveling together the girls have to hide their identity. Instead of revealing their identities, they're supposed to say they are friends on holiday.
Maybe the officials found these sentences offensive, when talking about the gals exploring around town "To the citizens, we are practically like walking porn! All eyes are on you all the time; it is complete voyeurism."
We can see where the bosses might look askance at this. She's implying they are told to be dishonest when mingling with the townfolk.
But here, Ms. Pasqualotto continues her description by casting the locals as both snobs and pervs: "The women double take, see you, then pretend you do not exist. The men see your face, then your boobs, your butt, then your boobs again!"
She's just being honest, India Premier League. You import blonde beauties into a cricket-crazy country as cheerleaders for their favorite team and what do you expect?. You can't bring something exotic and sassy into town without eyebrows raising and comments being made.
And then if you ask one of these ogled celebrities to write about her experiences; don't be surprised if she tells you what happened and how she feels about it.
At least she said nothing derogatory about the Indian cricket players. Here's what she says when referring to the after parties: "The few Indian players we have met, such as M.S. Dhoni and Rohit Sharma have been very polite and keep to themselves in the dark corners. Hotshots like Tendulkar with families at home are never present."
Again, not much justification for the firing. Gabriella keeps her innermost thoughts in a diary, then turns her diary into a blog. We say what a cheerleader does in the privacy of her own stadium...
We say when a cheerleader has the writing skills to compose a blog this colorful, she shouldn't be fired. Instead, that cheerleader should be elected president.
Hey, it worked for Reagan and Bush.