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You May Be a "CRAZY" Football Fan If...

AC ClarkContributor IOctober 16, 2008

According to my wife, I am a conspiracy theorist when it comes to college football. I always think that “everyone is out to get my team” and the college football system is crooked. Just last week my wife asked me if I thought the players in the huddle were talking about me as well, which was a little over the top—just a little though.

Granted, I am an SEC fan, and we do tend to feel that we are disrespected by everyone on the face of the planet, except other SEC fans, but that’s not what this article is about.

I wrote this article with hopes of finding other football fans out there that share the same frustrations that I feel during the college football season, hopefully proving to my wife that I’m not the only “crazy” football fan out there.

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, here are just a few of my rants.

+ If you still hate the new 40-second clock even though it makes perfect sense on paper … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you are tired of Ohio State, Notre Dame, and USC dominating every sports show and being considered for a BCS bowl game regardless of their talent level and weak schedule … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you would like the sports announcers who are calling the game to SHUT UP every once in a while so you can enjoy the game … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you feel that the announcers who are calling the game are biased against your team and secretly hope they lose … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you want the announcers to stop broadcasting strategies on what your team's opponent needs to do to win the game because they may be listening … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ When the TV coverage switches to the young lady on the field, who is pretending to know what she is talking about while reading a teleprompter, and it causes you to throw the remote because you missed part of the next play … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you’re sick and tired of hearing about how [insert team name here] from Conference USA, who is unbeaten, should contend for a BCS bowl even though their schedule consisted of JUCO teams and 13th graders … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you are tired of the constant debate on which conference is the “toughest” because it’s painfully obvious that it’s your team’s conference … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If your wife always seems to pack up the kids and go shopping around the time your team is playing … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If it’s a “bad idea” for you to watch the football games while the in-laws are over at Thanksgiving … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If you dislike a person whom you have never met because you saw him wearing another team’s cap … you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ If your dog instantaneously yelps and runs out of the room when the TV is turned to a football game... you may be a "CRAZY" football fan.

+ Lastly, if you would like to beat the crap out of any college president who supports the flawed BCS system just because of the money, you may be a "SANE" football fan.

Okay everyone, let the BR rookie have it. Am I right, am I wrong, or did I leave something out?

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