Monday January 14, 7:36 A.M. Lew Sterrett Correctional Facility:
First of all, I’d like to thank the girl I went to the game with for bailing me out although I’m still not sure what happened. This much I do know: the Cowboys blew it..plain and simple. And to the f***ing Giants and Eli Manning of all teams. As for what happened after, as Michael J. Fox said in Bright Lights, Big City, “the terrain isn’t entirely unfamiliar although the details are fuzzy.”
I do know that I went downtown for a consolation drink, then went Mel Gibson/Joe Pesci on some Giants fan’s head and it mysteriously got rammed between a car door and the car..REPEATEDLY and VIGOROUSLY. How it happened, police are still investigating.
Thank god this season is just about over. I’m getting too old for this. Then again, my new girlfriend seems pretty loyal and was even turned on by the minor display of childish violence. Maybe I won after all? Better make this quick. I’m due in court for these pesky assault charges. Seems my Giants friend hasn’t completely recovered from his coma.
I have a bad feeling these games are going to be blowouts and therefore VERY boring.
Of course it goes without saying that the following picks against the spread are for recreational use only. Only Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kiefer Sutherland, Roger Goodell and Travis Henry's nine kids and nine mommas would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.
Last week’s record: 3-1
Overall 2007 Playoff Record: 5-2-1
San Diego (+14) at New England
The Chargers shocked everyone by going into Indy and beating the Colts. What made it even more impressive was how banged up they were. Their magical season ends in New England, though. Rivers, Tomlinson and Gates are ALL banged up. They would need to be 150 percent to beat the Patriots in Foxboro. True the Chargers are a different team than the one that was beaten down in week two by New England. Yet, the questions remain as it does for every team that plays the Pats…how do you stop them through the air and how do you match points? With as many injured starters as the Chargers have, I don’t see how they can last four quarters with the Patriots.
Pick: New England
New York Giants (+7) at Green Bay
I’ll admit even though I picked the Giants to cover the spread, I didn’t think they’d beat Dallas. Forgive me if I’m still traumatized. That being said, I can’t emphasize this enough: take all the money you have and put it on Green Bay. Eli Manning already has his “I don’t play well in bad weather” excuse built-in and I feel that the Giants used up all the energy they had against Dallas. I just think Green Bay is a better and healthier team that is going to pounce on the Giants and make them wish they never made the trip to Lambeau.
Pick: Green Bay
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7 months ago
Rule no. 345...NEVER make picks when you're hungover and on your way to court. Damn.
7 months ago
I thought I was feeling better. What ifs are haunting me again with greater frequency. The Giants? Oh my God (of which I have none by the way). NY could do it. I certainly hope so. If New England wins, then a shroud of darkness will envelope the world for a thousand years, and humanity will end up enslaved by malevolent demons. It will indeed be the Apocalypse.
RGDS
7 months ago
I think I'll be rooting for the Giants too albeit with a heavy heart. Either way whichever team wins is going to be unbearable.
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