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Maxim's Hot 100: Reranking the Sexy Ladies of Sport

Timothy RappFeatured ColumnistMay 4, 2011

Maxim's Hot 100: Reranking the Sexy Ladies of Sport

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    Each year, Maxim puts out its Maxim Hot 100, the magazine's list of the most beautiful women. Men everywhere convene over its pages, analyzing the list for its intellectual merit and artistic pedigree.

    Right.

    In honor of the list, we at Swagger decided to pore through Maxim's efforts, looking for women connected to the world of sports, reranking the list as we saw fit.

    And believe me, we saw fit.

    To the slides!

20. Cameron Diaz

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    Maxim Ranking: 4

    Do you ever think Diaz is snuggling up next to A-Rod, and suddenly feels compelled to ask, "Did you really think you were going to get away with slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's glove?"

    Because that would make her so much hotter to me.

19. Kelly Kelly

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    Maxim Ranking: 82

    Kelly Kelly is in the Raw brand of WWE, and sadly her parents suffer from "Redundanciliobia," which causes them to say and do everything at least twice.

    It's a really tragic disease, it causes them to say and do everything at least twice.

18. Hilary Duff

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    Maxim Ranking: 40

    Duff is currently soothing her husband, the Penguins' Mike Comrie, gently reminding him that the Lightning are a very good team in the midst of embarrassing the Capitals. 

    Then Duff pauses, not wanting to tell Comrie she thinks that Stamkos guy is kind of cute.

     

    Photo from Maxim

17. Gabrielle Union

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    Maxim Ranking: 81

    Union is the super-sexy WAG of one Dwyane Wade, who may wind up being responsible for snapping several Celtics ankles by the time this series is over.

    For our money, Union will always be the best "Decision" Wade ever helped initiate.


    Photo from Maxim

16. Kelli Hutcherson

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    Maxim Ranking: 93

    Apple pie. Blue Jeans. Freedom. MMA ring girls.

    God bless America.

     

    Photo from Maxim

15. Aly Michalka

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    Maxim Ranking: 66

    Okay, okay, so she only plays a cheerleader on the show, Hellcats.

    We know it's a stretch. We just figured you would understand.

     

    Photo from Maxim

14. Elisha Cuthbert

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    Maxim Ranking: 65

    We really, really wish this hockey WAG was the girl next door. We wouldn't need to be dosed with any illegal drugs to recognize that the juice was worth the squeeze.


    Photo from Maxim

13. Hope Dworaczyk

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    Maxim Ranking: 97

    Ex-WAG Dworaczyk makes us wonder what it takes for a guy to get a job as a body painter?

    C'mon, like you weren't wondering the same thing.

     

    Photo from Playboy

12. Rachelle Leah

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    Maxim Ranking: 85

    Just one more reason why UFC and MMA are slowly replacing boxing as America's favorite way to watch a fight.


    Photo from Maxim

11. Minka Kelly

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    Maxim Ranking: 52

    Minka Kelly may look sexy in a hat, but we have a feeling she won't be just another feather in Derek Jeter's cap.

10. Kim Kardashian

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    Maxim Ranking: 35

    It simply wouldn't be a list involving hot women without an appearance by everybody's favorite super-WAG, Kim Kardashian.

    If Kim Kardashian was a superhero, I think her power would be the ability to completely cloud your vision with countless photos of herself.


    Photo from Maxim

9. Erin Andrews

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    Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

    Maxim Ranking: 91

    As if sports weren't already awesome enough, ESPN gives us sideline reports with the gorgeous EA, providing insight and beauty to broadcasts.

    Which proves that you really can't have too much of a good thing.

8. Brooklyn Decker

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    Maxim Ranking: 36

    Federer and Nadal may steal the majority of tennis highlights, but Roddick has the distinction of dashing the hopes of men everywhere hopeful they may someday have a chance with the lovely Decker.


    Photo from Maxim

7. Michelle Trachtenberg

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    Maxim Ranking: 27

    Trachtenberg was linked to Nuggets' Danilo Gallinari, though he denied the rumors. As well, she was recently linked to Brandon Prust of the Rangers.

    Why am I telling you this? Because I was dead-set on including Trachtenberg on this list, and was relieved to find I was justified in doing so.


    Photo from Maxim

6. Ciara

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    Maxim Ranking: 67

    Coming to the Knicks turned out to be a pretty good move for A'mare Stoudemire. The team made the playoffs, they brought in Carmelo Anthony to pair with Stoudemire, and he has most-recently been rumored to be dating Ciara.

    It's good to be A'mare.


    Photo from Maxim

5. Rihanna

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    Maxim Ranking: 22

    It's possible the world of WAG-dom lost one of its most gorgeous women when Rihanna and Matt Kemp reportedly broke up in December.

    Let's have a moment of silence for another WAG lost, please.

4. Anna Kournikova

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    Maxim Ranking: 19

    The consummate sex symbol from the world of sports lives on post-tennis, teasing men with photos like this.

    Anna K. put the "Love" in tennis, which was a very good thing for us, though not such a great thing for her playing career.


    Photo from Maxim

3. Jessica Alba

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    Maxim Ranking: 21

    Ex-WAG (Derek Jeter, who else?) and NBA fan Jessica Alba makes Maxim's list at No. 21.

    I'm not one to insult folks for where they rank things, given the subjective nature of the task. But I think it should be some sort of rule that Alba appear in the top ten of any list comprised of beautiful women.


    Photo from Maxim

2. Stacy Keibler

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    Maxim Ranking: 72

    The world of wrestling misses and needs you, Miss Keibler.

    Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh! I miss your scent. I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!

    Okay, I'm done now.


    Photo from Maxim

1. Arianny Celeste

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    Maxim Ranking: 70

    I recently asked a friend of mine if he ever thought I could ever land an Octagon Girl as hot as Arianny Celeste.

    "No," he said. "You're too much of a square. Boom!"

    The truth hurts.

     

    Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger)


    Photo from Maxim

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