TNA IMPACT! Review 4/28/11

Charlie GSenior Writer IApril 29, 2011

I don't always write reviews on wrestling shows unless they're pay-per-views, but today is different. After watching iMPACT! this past Thursday, I wanted to write a review of the show.

Here are the results and my review of the April 28th edition of TNA iMPACT!

The show starts with Miss Tessmacher, Madison Rayne, Tara, Velvet Sky, a steam stress, a cook, Sarita and Rosita in the ring.

The Jarretts come out to the ring and Karen grabs the mic.

She wants to find out the identity of Kurt Angle's "mistress." The woman Kurt hired to take Karen out.

Karen starts with the cook. She is a short, older woman.

Karen says that she maybe the mistress because she always takes care of Kurt. Getting him somewhere to sit and something to eat.

The cook says she cooks for 50 other wrestlers and says she has to go cook a pot roast. I guess her pot roast is good because the crowd cheered a little bit. Karen dismisses her but pulls her back and tells the cook that Taco Tuesday sucks! Everybody booed Karen. Taco Tuesday is good, I guess.

Next Karen questions the clothing designer.

Karen says she watches her feel Kurt up. The designer says it's her job to take measurements. Karen lest her go.

Karen is surprisingly entertaining on the mic. She's being herself, and it feels real.

Karen's next victim is the lovely Miss Tessmacher.

Karen asks if it's a coincidence that Miss Tessmacher and Kurt arrived at the same time. Tessmacher says yes because we both work here and want a pay check.

Karen asks if it's a coincidence that she and Kurt were at the gym at the same exact time! Tessmacher says, "Yes." She asks Karen if it's a coincidence that 25 other TNA wrestlers were there. Miss Tessmacher starts to leave but drops her glasses and bends over slowly to a pop from the crowd.

Karen then called Sarita and Rosita "Rice and Beans." I laughed at that.

She thinks Sarita and Rosita love America and Kurt is an American Hero. Sarita tells Karen that she has it all wrong.

They are Mexican America. They want nothing to do with "stupid gringos." The Knockout Tag Team Champions left.

Karen goes to Madison and Tara.

Madison grabs the mic and says she wouldn't doubt it if Tara was the mistress. She said Tara does like to "lay around." Tara got in Madison's face, spit gum at her and left. Madison soon left too.

Only Velvet is left standing.

Karen said Velvet is probably the mistress. Karen has been hearing that Velvet lays around with everybody and is good at it. Karen says Velvet's career is going nowhere, and if she was on Kurt's arm, she'd go places in TNA.

Velvet attempts to slap Karen, but Jeff catches her arm and wags a finger in her face. Velvet slaps Jeff! Karen and Velvet get into a cat fight until Winter and Angelina Love come out.

I found the segment very entertaining. I liked it. It was funny and seemed real.

Angelina attacks Velvet and a match is underway.

Angelina is quick with the offense in her zombie state of mind. She dominates the beginning of the match. 

Velvet fights back but her strikes have no effect on Love.

Velvet hits Love with a few jaw breakers, a clothesline and a bull dog. Love is down and referee, Jackson James is checking on her.

Winter is taunting Velvet and Velvet swings at her. Winter ducks and slingshots Velvet's head and neck off the ropes. Love locks in Winter's finishing submission move.

Close up on Love who is showing no emotion at all. Tenay has a perfect example as he called Angelina Love almost like a robot.

Angelina choked out Velvet for the win.

Mr. Anderson is shown in the parking lot. He drove a big truck to the iMPACT! Zone tonight. He says that he wants his title match.

After commercials we're back and following The Blueprint backstage. He's looking for Scott Seiner.

Back to the ring.

Christy Hemme is ring announcer tonight, interesting.

She introduces Anarquia who is followed by Mexican America. Out comes his opponent, Chris Sabin.

This was a back and forth, but short match. I think the match was supposed to be longer but was cut short because Sabin was injured during the bout.

Sabin went for a spring board off the ropes and tweaked his knee and had an awkward landing. Anarquia noticed this and rolled Sabin up for the win.

Mexican America proceeded in beating up Sabin after the match but Alex Shelley makes the save! Shelley is back from injury, and Motorcity Machine Guns stood tall.

There is a possible feud between Mexican America and the Guns. I like the idea of it.

Now we're in Steiner's locker room backstage. The camera man tells Scott that Morgan is looking for him. Scott says he isn't hard to find. The camera man asks Steiner why he attacked Morgan last week.

Steiner response, "Why does the sun rise? Why does the moon go down at night?" No that's not a typo. Steiner asked why the moon goes down at night.

Back from commercials and we're with Matt Morgan backstage. He's asking guys in the back if they know where Steiner is. Scott pokes his head through a curtain and throws pieces of cardboard at Morgan.

Morgan follows Steiner but can't find him. Steiner attacks and beats down Morgan. Scott his hitting Morgan with chairs, tables and a baseball bat. Morgan fights back by sliding Scott across a table and throws him into some chairs.

Commercial break.

Anderson's truck is shown. Sting soon walks into the frame. Sting takes off his jacket and smashes all the windows on Anderson's car. Sting puts a huge hole in the windshield and leaves his trademark baseball bat.

Mickie James hits the ring to cut a short promo. She dedicates her title to the fans.

TV title match next.

Daniels vs. Gunner.

This was the best match of the night. It had great in ring action and was given good timing. It was back and forth and Daniels almost won the match on several occasions.

In the end, Gunner retained with his F5 style finishing move. Good match and as much as I want to see Daniels as champion, Gunner retaining was for the better.

Sting is in the ring and Anderson soon comes out with Sting's bat in hand. He asks Sting if he busted up his truck and Sting says no. He asks again and Sting says no. Anderson says he seen the footage and asks again. Sting finally gives in and admits it.

Anderson takes his batting stance and....says he'll fix it. He'll replace his windows. Sting could've blown up his car cause he can just replace. Anderson says he knows what Sting is trying to do and won't buy it. Anderson challenges Sting to a title match tonight! 

RVD comes out and tries to stop the match from happening. I was enjoying Sting and Anderson until RVD came out. He's just so damn bland and boring on the mic.

Hogan comes out with his steel pipe. Hogan makes a three-way for the main event.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Next match is Crimson vs. Samoa Joe. In a pre-match interview we are reminded of Crimson's undefeated streak in TNA. Samoa Joe says he knows all about that. He says his streak can never be duplicated. It was a cool interview before the match with Joe.

As Joe walks to the ring Mike Tenay reminds us of Samoa Joe's 18-month undefeated streak when he joined TNA.

Crimson and Joe start off having a good match. They go back and forth. They take the match to the outside. Crimson sends Joe into the guard rail and is decked from behind by The Monster Abyss. Crimson wins by disqualification. 

Samoa Joe looks as if he was going to help Crimson but waves it off and walks up the ramp.

Abyss hits Crimson with a Black Hole Slam.

Main Event time.

Everybody enters the ring, Bully Ray has Hogan's pipe.

Jeremy Borash is in the ring and announces the participants boxing style. Christy Hemme did a good job as ring announcer for her first night, just saying.

Anderson was the whipping boy in this match. He took the most damage. Bully Ray was most dominant throughout the entire match.

Anderson gets sent to the corner and hit with a Stinger Splash. Bully Ray tries to hit Sting and Anderson with one of his own but Sting moves and Ray crushes Anderson.

Ray now in the corner, turns around and here comes Sting charging at him. Stinger Splash attempt. Ray moves and pulls Senior referee Earl Hebner in the way.

Anderson and Hebner are laid out on the outside of the ring.

Bully Ray grabs his pipe and hits Sting in the stomach with it. AJ Styles comes running out and punches Ray's head in then hits a Pele kick.

Sting grabs the pipe and nails Ray in the head. Sting goes for the pin and a referee comes out and counts the three. Still champion, Sting.

Next week Bully Ray plans on getting back at AJ for costing him the World title. Kurt Angle says Karen will meet his mistress next week!

Overall it was a good iMPACT!

The opening promo was entertaining and so were all of the matches. Match of the night has to be Daniels vs. Gunner.

It was also good to see the TV title and World title defended on the same night on free TV.

Hogan was on iMPACT! but only for a very short time. No Bischoff, Flair or any of Immortal.

It was a good show. I just wish Fortune was on the card instead of AJ interfering in the match.


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