NFL Draft 2011: Why the NFL Draft Was More Royal Than the Royal Wedding

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NFL Draft 2011: Why the NFL Draft Was More Royal Than the Royal Wedding
Chris Trotman/Getty Images

I don’t mean to offend anyone, but wedding-smedding. 

I’m sure you will tell me that Kate looked stunning, and women everywhere were envious. 

I’ll tell you that Cam Newton was the No. 1 pick in the NFL Draft, and I’m expecting him to be dazzling on Sundays—putting moves on would-be tacklers and stiff-arming referees that get in his way. 

I’m confident that he can put his head down and carry a 300-pound defensive tackle with him into the end-zone. I don’t suspect that Kate will be taking on defensive tackles any time soon—well, not in those shoes at least! 

Yeah, but all of those wonderful guests showed up to the royal wedding. People everywhere felt like virtual guests as they sat in on the royal event from the comfort of their homes. 

Phffttt!

We all sat in on the NFL draft as guests from the comfort of our man caves or favorite spot at TGI Fridays. I’m guessing that you missed seeing the fans at Radio City Music Hall who stopped short of throwing hot dogs and beer at commissioner Roger Goodell as they greeted him with a chorus of boos? If that’s not refinement and style then I don’t know what is! 

But the wedding was so lovely that people broke down in tears. Happy tears.

Oh yeah? Well did you happen to notice Von Miller crying under his glasses and cap as he found out on the phone that the Denver Broncos would be making him the No. 2 pick in the draft? Now that is real sentiment. Sure, it’s possible that those weren’t tears of joy; the Broncos did finish 4-12 last season, and Kyle Orton is still the starting quarterback. But there were tears nonetheless! 

This is history in the making you suggest.

Yeah, well so is the Detroit Lions drafting Nick Fairley to pair up with Ndamukong Suh. That team has been awful for a long time, and these are miraculous events unfolding before our eyes. What’s more impressive: A guy just under 300 pounds running a 40-yard dash in 4.87 seconds and managing a vertical jump of 31 inches, or a would-be princess maneuvering through a long aisle in a lacy wedding gown, hoping not to have an awkward slip with a billion people looking on?  

Clearly, it’s the former. 

You may have gotten goose bumps when NBC ran a slow-motion replay of The Kiss.” But I also got goose bumps and had to rewind my DVR back when I first learned that the Tennessee Titans had finally drafted a quarterback.I just couldn’t believe my eyes, and felt faint of heart at the time. 

And you want to talk about glitz and glamor! I suppose you missed that watch that Mark Ingram was wearing as he approached the podium and held up his Saints jersey. The reflection from the bling came through the pixels on my HD TV in all its magnificent glory!  

Franchise quarterbacks, surprising trades, Chris Berman being Chris Berman, families rejoicing after long years of hard work and effort and John Gruden wagging his finger in the face of Mel Kiper Jr. over a debate over Jake Locker’s statistics—no sir, no ma’am, nothing can top that! 

And that was only Round 1!

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