Horse Racing

Big Brown Is Ready For Some Sexy Time!

JerseySenior Analyst IOctober 13, 2008

And so, the career of another storied racehorse has come to a crashing halt.

Big Brown was the most recent horse to almost win the Triple Crown, and the one who historically cost betters a lot of money when he stopped running in the middle of the final race.

He wasn't quite the heart-warming-cancer-curing-baby-saving-crisis-fixing-all-American-hero that Barbaro was, but he was still pretty popular for a horse. He received sponsorship from UPS, something that Kwame Brown never managed to achieve.

Thanks to an unfortunate foot injury, Big Brown will never race again, meaning it's time for yet another horse to almost be legendary. Who will step up and take the mantle of Bestest Horse In America?

Who will most effectively desire the post-race oats, who will try hardest to escape the ass-whipping, who will be lucky enough to be injected with the most horse steroids? Perhaps Bad Horse.

The real winner in all of this is, of course, Big Brown. No more training, no more ass-spanking, just lots and lots of sex.

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