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NFL Draft 2011: Denver Broncos Draft Headlines That Could Ruin Your Day

The DenverSportsNutContributor IIIApril 28, 2011

NFL Draft 2011: Denver Broncos Draft Headlines That Could Ruin Your Day

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    With their 1st pick, the Denver Broncos select...
    With their 1st pick, the Denver Broncos select...Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images

    This is the "mock" draft that mocks the fears of every Broncos fan: That Denver will do something dreadful and blow the draft. 

    In other words, roughly every Broncos draft in the last 10 years!

    Should the Broncos go for need with a big fat defensive lineman in a draft that has no stand-out defensive lineman like Ndamukong Suh, but is very deep?

    Should they pick the best player, Patrick Peterson, at a position that isn't desperate?

    Will they tear the hearts out of Tebow fans and draft a QB even though the three best QB prospects all have problems similar to Tim Tebow?

    Is it possible in this time of uncertainty to trade down?

    Will it be, no matter what John Elway and the Denver Broncos do, a big bust?

    Here are the headlines that you DON'T want to wake up to tomorrow morning...

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    I can prepare for the season with this new laptop I just "picked up"
    I can prepare for the season with this new laptop I just "picked up"Kent Horner/Getty Images

    Select Cam Newton

    It isn't that they needed a QB, but when Newton agreed to sign for $180,000 the Broncos couldn't resist.

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    I can't quit you, Peyton!
    I can't quit you, Peyton!Rick Stewart/Getty Images

    Trade the pick for a copy of the new Madden 12 video game with Peyton Hillis on the cover.

    Memories
    Light the corners of my mind
    Misty Broncos jersey memories
    Of the way we were
    Scattered pictures
    Of the Hillis we left behind
    Trades we gave to one another
    For the way we were

    Can it be that it was all so simple then
    Or has time rewritten every line
    If we had the chance to do it all again
    Tell me - Would we? Could we? Trade for Brady Quinn?

    Memories
    May be beautiful and yet
    What's too painful to remember
    We simply choose to forget

    So it's the running back
    We will remember
    Whenever we remember
    The way we were

    So it's the touchdowns
    We will remember
    Whenever we remember
    The way we were

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    I"m NOT Bill Belichek.  I just dress like him.
    I"m NOT Bill Belichek. I just dress like him.Justin Edmonds/Getty Images

    Swap first round picks with St. Louis.

    They get our number two pick, we get a Josh McDaniels' hoodie and a camcorder.

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    This one's for... uhhh....hmmm... what was I talking about again?
    This one's for... uhhh....hmmm... what was I talking about again?Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Draft Jake Locker

    Owner Pat Bowlen read the article on NFL.com where John Elway said that Jake Locker reminds Elway of himself.  So he assumed that was what John wanted.  And whatever Johnny wants, Patty gets.

    Bowlen announced the pick by saying,

    "Four words: ThisSecondOverall... DraftPick... isfor... John.

     [yes that was only four words, as are these other options]

    I mean: Mike's... coach... for... life.

    Or should I say: It's... Jay's... team... now.

    Err: Wait..., where... am... I?

    More importantly: What's... my... name... again?"

    See kids... to own an NFL team, all you need to be able to do is count to four and prove it with every sentence.

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.
    I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller.Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images

    Pick a "little" known, 5'6" corner named Alphonso Smurf. 

    I mean, Smith.  Alphonso Smith. 

    Alphonso "I Wish I Was A Little Bit Taller I Wish I Was A Baller" Smith.

    The Broncos are hoping to capitalize on the upcoming Smurfs live-action movie with Neil Patrick Harris, and increase their visibility amoung the 4-through-10-year-olds crowd.

    Next year, the Broncos plan on trading the pick to Detroit for a back-up tight end with a last name that is REALLY hard to spell (so I won't try).

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    I'm big, I'm from UNC, and my last name is Quinn.  Pick me, Pick me!
    I'm big, I'm from UNC, and my last name is Quinn. Pick me, Pick me!Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

    Re-draft TE Richard Quinn from the University of North Carolina

    Mistakingly believing that they are drafting DE Robert Quinn from the University of North Caronlina.

    (But at least they didn't trade up to do so this time)

With the 2nd Pick in the NFL Draft, the Denver Broncos...

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    When you have $82.5 million, you can afford to shop at LL Bean
    When you have $82.5 million, you can afford to shop at LL BeanDoug Pensinger/Getty Images

    Trade GM John Elway to the Indianapolis Colts for Bill Polian and Chris Hinton.

    "Payback is a beyaaatch. I run this town now."—Tim Tebow

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