Rey Maualuga to Speak at Upcoming G-8 Economic Summit (Humor)

Ryan Drake by Scribe Written on October 08, 2008
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As noted in a recent article in The LA Times, USC Marshall School of Business student and Trojans starting guard Jeff Byers was recently asked to deliver a briefing to the team regarding the current economic crisis in the United States. "The nearly five-minute address covered banks extending credit, borrowers failing to pay loans and related issues," according to The Times.

One member of the team who was particularly moved by Byers' speech was senior middle linebacker Rey Maualuga.

"Um, I just, like, y'know, it makes me really mad," Maualuga said. "Coach Carroll and Coach Norton always tells us that no one can beat us but ourselves, and you know...I guess America just beat ourselves. We still know we are the better national economy, though. We know we deserve to be at the top." 

With global leaders such as French President Nicholas Sarkozy inspired by such words, Maualuga has been asked to give the keynote address at the November G-8 Economic Summit. Maualuga is to address snuffing out the credit problem when it takes off to run, how to plug the gap in the secondary mortgage crisis, as well as how to play up to big financial challenges (but not small in-country economic crises).

German Chancellor Angela Merkel, however, has continued to express skepticism leading up to Maualuga's planned speech.

"The German people, European Union and the global market must be careful not to overpursue this problem and let it run wild," he said. "We must focus on strengthening the fundamentals of the economy first." 

Vote Now! - Author Poll

Can the United States run the table and make it back to the top of the world rankings?

  • Yes, the rest of the world is a soft schedule
  • No, there will be another crisis before December
  • Other top economies will cancel each other out
vote to see results
Results - Author Poll

Can the United States run the table and make it back to the top of the world rankings?

  • Yes, the rest of the world is a soft schedule

    55.6%
  • No, there will be another crisis before December

    33.3%
  • Other top economies will cancel each other out

    11.1%
  • Total votes: 9
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written on October 08, 2008 Humor

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