New York Yankees Must Move Brett Gardner and Derek Jeter Now (Humor)

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New York Yankees Must Move Brett Gardner and Derek Jeter Now (Humor)
Nick Laham/Getty Images
Brett Gardner should be given his outright release

Last night's game was the last straw for the New York Yankees!

Brett Gardner and Derek Jeter have proven finally and forever that they should not be at the top of the order for the Yankees.

Gardner struck out three times in the game against the Baltimore Orioles, stranding runners in critical situations and proving that he is just not ready to hit leadoff on a major league roster.

Garnder finished the game with a batting average of .150 and an on-base percentage of .227. No major league team should have a player with those kinds of numbers at the top of the order.

Derek Jeter is no better hitting second. 

Jeter finished the night one-for-five with a .233 BA and a .306 OBP. This old man has now proven he can no longer play at the major league level.

There are several solutions to these problems. If manager Joe Girardi insists on keeping these two worthless players in the lineup, he has to drop them to the bottom of the order.

So who will replace them at the top?

Obviously, Curtis Granderson should lead off and Nick Swisher should hit in the two hole.

Wait a minute. Let's look at Grandy and Swishy's numbers.

Granderson was two-for-four last night but is still only hitting .194 with an OBP of just .275. Maybe he is not the perfect leadoff hitter either.

Nick Laham/Getty Images
Jeter has only three days to keep his job at shortstop

Swisher drove in the winning run with a sacrifice fly in the 10th inning. But he ended the night hitting only .211 for the season with an OBP of .298.

So maybe Granderson and Swisher aren't the perfect match for the top spots in the order.

Who else is there?

I know! Alex Rodriguez is hitting .412 with an OBP of .512. So obviously, he should be leading off. And Robinson Cano is hitting .328 with an OBP of .340, so he should hit second behind ARod.

Move Gardner and Jeter to the bottom of the order if they stay in the lineup.

Hit Russell Martin third. After all, he has a .289 average right now, 64 points higher than Mark Teixeira.

Hit Jorge Posada cleanup. He is only hitting .189, but of his seven hits, five have been home runs. His power makes him the perfect cleanup guy.

Granderson is not suited for leadoff as we have seen. But he would be perfect taking Cano's place in the five hole since he has so much power from the left side.

Even though he hasn't shown much lately but sac flies followed by cream pies, let Swisher hit sixth.

Teixeira is terrible, but he might be able to fill the seven hole followed by Jeter and Gardner.

Al Bello/Getty Images
Eric Chavez at third base is the Yankees' Only Salvation

I would only give this new lineup through the weekend to succeed.

If there are not major improvements by Sunday, I would make the following additional changes.

ARod moves to shortstop and Jeter is benched.

Eric Chavez takes over at third base permanently because he is hitting .444 and will then bat cleanup.

Gardner is given his outright release from baseball and Andruw Jones is installed as the left fielder with a five-year extension on his contract. He is hitting .400 and still has enough speed that he could be the leadoff hitter if ARod does not work out there.

Phil Hughes can obviously not pitch. But he still has a good enough arm to be the next Rick Ankiel, so put him in center field and trade Granderson.

After all, Yankee fans are too devoted and too worthy of a good product to put up with a team that is only 7-4 after 11 games and is in first place by only one game.

Changes have to be made.

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