The 30 Funniest Names in Sports History

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"What's in a name?" the old saying asks. In sports, names carry with them instant recognition and gravitas, familiar to millions through the use of a single word.

Kobe. Shaq. Tiger. LeBron. Brady. Manning. A-Rod. Every single Brazilian soccer player.

But names in sports are also memorable for an entirely different reason—unintentional hilarity. From crazy nicknames to tragic given names, sports have given humanity some of the funniest names possible.

So in that tradition, I have compiled 30 of the most humorous names ever found in the world of sports. Some you may have seen, and others you will not believe. As always, leave your favorites in the comments.

To the slides!

30. World B. Free

INGLEWOOD - 1987: World B. Free #21 of the Houston Rockets waits during a game in the1987-88 season against the Los Angeles Lakers at the Forum in Inglewood, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or usi

Rick Stewart/Getty Images

Alright, so this name isn't all that funny, but it's darn cool.

Therefore, I'll allow it.

29. I.M. Hipp

Only two ways the former tailback for Nebraska could have had a cooler name:

1. I.M. Legend

2. I.M. Allthatisman

Photo courtesy of Huskers.com

28. Milton Bradley

PEORIA, AZ - MARCH 04: Milton Bradley #15 of the Seattle Mariners bats against the Cincinnati Reds during the spring training game at Peoria Stadium on March 4, 2011 in Peoria, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

We now present the newest game from Milton Bradley: "Anger Management Issues!"

You don't even need a board to play, you just need to alienate those near you with your uncontrollable rage!

And coming soon from Milton Bradley: "The Legal Proceedings Game."

Hooray!

27. Dick Pole

SARASOTA, FL - FEBRUARY 18: Dick Pole #43 of the Cincinnati Reds poses for a photo during Spring Training Photo day on February 18, 2009 at the Cincinnati Reds training facility in Sarasota, Florida. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Chris Graythen/Getty Images

I'll never understood why Richard is shortened to Dick. Isn't Rich the logical nickname?

In the case of Richard Pole, I think Rich may have been the smarter option. Just my opinion.

26. Richie Incognito

ORCHARD PARK, NY - DECEMBER 20: Richie Incognito #62 of the Buffalo Bills walks to the field from the locker room against the New England Patriots during the game at Ralph Wilson Stadium on December 20, 2009 in Orchard Park, New York. (Photo by: Rick Ste

Rick Stewart/Getty Images

A personal favorite.

Ironically, the only reason I was ever aware of Incognito was due to his last name.

25. Anna Smashnova

LONDON - JUNE 27: Martina Muller of Germany plays a forehand during the Women's Singles first round match against Anna Smashnova of Israel during day three of the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club on June

Alex Livesey/Getty Images

In your best Hulk voice:

"Anna SMASH!"

In your best Noel Gallagher voice:

"In an Anna Smashnova in the sky."

In your best frat guy voice:

"Dude, I know it is a Tuesday afternoon, but I don't care, I'm getting Smashnova-ed!"

24. J.J. Putz

PHOENIX, AZ - APRIL 10: Relief pitcher J.J. Putz #40 of the Arizona Diamondbacks celebrates after defeating the Cincinnati Reds in the Major League Baseball game at Chase Field on April 10, 2011 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Diamondbacks defeated the Reds 10-

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

Poor J.J. never knew if people were calling him a name, or calling him by name.

Friends knew to simply call him J.J.

23. Misty Hyman

LONG BEACH, CA - JULY 10: Misty Hyman swims the women's 200 meter butterfly during the US Swim Trials on July 10, 2004 at the Charter All Digital Aquatic Center in Long Beach, California. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

I'll just leave this one alone.

22. Danny Shittu

BLOEMFONTEIN, SOUTH AFRICA - JUNE 17: Danny Shittu of Nigeria ahead of the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Group B match between Greece and Nigeria at the Free State Stadium on June 17, 2010 in Mangaung/Bloemfontein, South Africa. (Photo by Martin Rose

Martin Rose/Getty Images

A player on the Nigerian soccer team and the Queens Park Rangers, an professional English squad.

I Shittu not.

21. Walter "Sneeze" Achiu

There aren't any photos of "Sneeze" out there, as he was the first-ever Asian professional football player for the Dayton Triangles in 1927 and 1928.

Bless you!

20. God Shammgod

23 Mar 1997: Guard God Shammgod of the Providence Friars wipes his eyes with jersey after a playoff game against the Arizona Wildcats at the Birmingham-Jefferson Civic Center, in Birmingham, Alabama. The Wildcats won the game 96-92.. Mandatory Credit:

Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Talk about a lot of pressure in a name. Imagine being named God—you could never live up to expectations.

"Hey Ma, I got a double-double tonight, and we won the game!"

"Oh, good for you, honey. Did you know that God created the heavens and Earth in seven days? Hmm? So maybe you should be a little more humble about that measly double-double, because frankly, Mommy isn't impressed."

19. DeWanna Bonner

PHOENIX - AUGUST 26: DeWanna Bonner #24 of the Phoenix Mercury handles the ball in Game One of the Western Conference Semifinals against the San Antonio Silver Stars during the 2010 WNBA Playoffs at US Airways Center on August 26, 2010 in Phoenix, Arizon

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

So if you use your imagination, and say this name really quickly...

You with me?

And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but its just not in the cards, now is it?

18. Harry Colon

14 Sep 1997: Bryant Westbrook #32 and Harry Colon #29 of the Detroit Lions in action during a game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois. The Lions won the game 32-7. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Stockman /Allsport

Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

Or, as proctologists call it, a bad day.

17. Jenni Asserholt

VANCOUVER, BC - FEBRUARY 22: Jenni Asserholt of Sweden moves the puck against the United States during the ice hockey women's semifinal game game between on day 11 of the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics at Canada Hockey Place on February 22, 2010 in Vanco

Alex Livesey/Getty Images

This Swedish hockey player is never sure if people are chanting her name because they like her, or because they despise her.

16. Picabo Street

$12 Feb 2002: Picabo Street of the USA competes in the women's downhill final during the Salt Lake City Winter Olympic Games at the Snowbasin ski area in Ogden, Utah. DIGITAL IMAGE. \ Mandatory Credit: Mike Powell/Getty Images$
Mike Powell/Getty Images

Sounds like a street you may turn down in certain parts of Amsterdam.

15. Dean Windass

OLDHAM, UNITED KINGDOM - FEBRUARY 14: Dean Windass of Oldham Athletic during the Coca Cola League One match between Oldham Athletic and Northampton Town held at Boundary Park on February 14, 2009 in Oldham, England. (Photo by Pete Norton/Getty Images)

Pete Norton/Getty Images

Is that not the perfect picture of the now-retired English soccer player?

It's as though he's saying, "Whoa fella, I'd stay over there for a second. I'd consider it off-limits over this way for a moment, I don't even think the grass is going to survive after what I just did."

Bleacher Report—your one-stop shop for sophisticated sports analysis.

14. Johnny Dickshot

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He was rarely mocked as a child, however, as most guys knew exactly what was coming to them if they gave Johnny a rough time.

13. Pete LaCock

Worst porn name ever.

And it wasn't even a porn name.

12. Coco Crisp

PHOENIX, AZ - MARCH 03: Coco Crisp #4 of the Oakland Athletics sits in the dugout before the spring training game against the Milwaukee Brewers at Maryvale Baseball Park on March 3, 2011 in Phoenix, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

I was always more of a Cocoa Pebbles guy, but that's just me.

11. Dick Butkus

NEW ORLEANS - MAY 19: 2008 Pro Football Hall of Fame member and legendary Chicago Bears linebacker Dick Butkus takes time to sign footballs for fans in the Fox Cable Networks' booth at the The Cable Show in the Ernest N. Morial Convention Center on May 19

Skip Bolen/Getty Images

And I would be doing a lot of Butkussing if I ever saw him in person, that's for sure.

10. Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon

Mike Hewitt/Getty Images

Reason number one I am glad I am not a sports announcer.

9. Jack Glasscock

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Jack Glasscock was a shortstop in the National League from 1879 to 1885, playing for a slew of teams.

He's also credited with originating the following saying:

Don't throw stones if you have a...

Oh god, that's not how the saying goes at all. I apologize.

8. Karen Cockburn

BEIJING - AUGUST 18: Silver medalist Karen Cockburn of Canada stands on the podium during the medal ceremony for the trampoline gymnastics event at the National Indoor Stadium on Day 10 of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games on August 18, 2008 in Beijing, Chi

Julian Finney/Getty Images

I wouldn't suggest sharing the same trampoline with this Canadian trampoline gymnast.

Be smart—practice safe jumping.

7. Irina Slutskaya

TURIN, ITALY - FEBRUARY 23: Irina Slutskaya of Russia performs during the women's Free Skating program of figure skating during Day 13 of the Turin 2006 Winter Olympic Games on February 23, 2006 at Palavela in Turin, Italy. (Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Im

Brian Bahr/Getty Images

It has become all the rage in sports to combine the first letter of an athlete's first name with the first syllable of their last name.

For example, Alex Rodriguez is now A-Rod.

Or A-Roid, either works.

This system of name-shortening would not be appropriate for Irina Slutskaya, however.

6. Dick Trickle

9 Feb 1999: Driver Dick Trickle #13 poses for a studio portrait during the NASCAR Daytona 500 Speedweek - Winston Cup Series at the Daytona International Speedway in Daytona, Florida.

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Dick Trickle finished his racing career with an estimated 1,200 victories.

That's a lot, in case you were wondering.

And in the immortal words of Count Monet to the piss boy in History of the World: Part 1:

"Wait for the shake!"

5. Assoli Slivets

VANCOUVER, BC - FEBRUARY 20: Assoli Slivets of Belarus competes in the freestyle skiing ladies' aerials qualification on day 9 of the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics at Cypress Mountain Resort on February 20, 2010 in Vancouver, Canada. (Photo by Cameron

Cameron Spencer/Getty Images

Many names are shortened, taking on the form of nicknames. Jacob becomes Jake, Daniel becomes Dan, etc.

My guess is that Olympic freestyle skier Assoli Slivets doesn't shorten her name.

Just a guess.

4. Lucious Pusey

Parents can be cruel, as witnessed by the former linebacker for the Eastern Illinois Panthers.

3. Chubby Cox

Here's a list of guys Chubby would see and say, "Man, I'm glad I don't have your first name:"

Tiny Archibald.

Actually, I think I can stop there.

2. Ron Tugnutt

DETROIT - OCTOBER 24: Goaltender Ron Tugnutt #31 of the Dallas Stars warms up in goal prior to taking on the Detroit Red Wings on October 24, 2003 at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit, Michigan. The Red Wings won the game 4-0. (Photo by Tom Pidgeon/Getty Images

Tom Pidgeon/Getty Images

Teammates were often concerned by Ron's propensity to get distracted during the game.

1. Rusty Kuntz

SURPRISE, AZ - FEBRUARY 23: Coach Rusty Kuntz #81 of the Kansas City Royals poses for a portrait during Spring Training Media Day on February 23, 2011 at Surprise Stadium in Surprise, Arizona.. (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images)

Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

Rusty Kuntz was an outfielder and designated hitter for the Chicago White Sox, Minnesota Twins and Detroit Tigers from 1979 to 1985, and has remained in the game as a coach.

And that is all I am going to say about that.

Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger)

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