Parodies - 'Don't Wanna Be a Football Official'

David JacobsCorrespondent IOctober 7, 2008

It's tough being a referee. I wrote this song using the small bit of sympathy
I still have for them.

To the tune of "American Idiot" by Green Day:

Don't wanna be a football official.
Don't wanna make decisions that are crucial.
'Coz all I get is a footballer's backlash
From John Terry who just wants cash.

All the players hassle and annoy me.
I can't even show a card of R-E-D
Even if that's what they all deserve.

Television would show it tomorrow.
Media scrutiny would follow
Me all the way back home again.

I may seem like a f*ggot to all of you.
I do my job, you should stick to yours, too.
I may have the movement of a panda.
That's why the linesmen give me a hand-a.

Welcome to the world of refereeing.
I can't see what the other fans are seeing
And vice versa which makes us all go mad.

Then I call a foul and give a penalty.
Either way, it would make one team angry.
But one goal can't be that bad.

Don't wanna be a football official.
I'm inconsistent with players who aren't special.
Always the centre of something controversial
Then again, this problem's universal.

I cannot always see everything
On the pitch. There's sometimes nothing.
Yet I still decide to stop and blow.

Remember when I mentioned the red card.
Players need to calm down. It's not that hard.
I'll let them off with a yellow.


(Okay, that "panda/hand-a" line was not very good, but I couldn't think of anything else :P).