College Football’s Week Six All-Chump Team

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College Football’s Week Six All-Chump Team

Viva la chump!  Back by popular demand, here are the individuals in college football that wish this weekend’s performances would just go away.  Let this be “tackling fuel” for each going forward:

College Football’s Week Six “All-Chump” Team

QUARTERBACK

Starter:

Tom Brandstater (Fresno State)

12 for 24, 204 yards, 3 INT, lost fumble in a 32-29 OT loss to Hawaii

This weekend, Brandstater and the Bulldogs were like Sen. Larry Craig, caught with their pants down.

 

Backup:           

Curtis Painter (Purdue)

13 for 22, 112 yards, 1 INT in a 20-6 loss to Penn State

Once again, Painter struggled against the Nittany Lions.  This performance was like Clay Aiken’s recent news: nothing new and nothing we didn’t know already.

 

RUNNING BACK

Starter:

Maryland’s Running Game

21 carries for 79 yards in a 31-0 loss to Virginia

Virginia’s rush defense was ranked 93rd in the country entering the weekend.  In a game where they were expected to be the hare, Maryland was instead just…well…the turtle.

 

WIDE RECEIVER

Starter:

Jaison Williams (Oregon)

4 catches for 31 yards in a 44-10 loss to USC

Considered a top receiver in the country according to many, more was expected from Williams in this game, and more was needed.  Instead, all night long, he was covered by a Trojan.  Uhh, you know what I mean…

 

TRENCHES: O-LINE & D-LINE

Starter:

Tennessee O-Line

Allowed Northern Illinois defense to limit the run game to 2.2 yards per carry in a 13-9 win.

It isn’t just the offensive line, but more the offense as a whole for the Vols.  Before this weekend, Northern Illinois faced two directional schools, Minnesota, and Indiana State.  After this weekend, NIU’s defensive numbers improved after facing the Vols.  Yikes.

Even Al Davis is trying to find a way to fire Coach Fulmer.

 

Starter:

Michigan D-Line (and defense as a whole)

Allowing Illinois to pile up over 500 total yards and 45 points, at Michigan Stadium.

Juice Williams and his 431 total yards is a new Michigan Stadium record. Until further notice, Michigan’s new team rallying cry is “Go Boo”.

 

RUSH DEFENSE

Starter:

Kentucky Rush Defense

Gave up 282 yards on the ground (including 218 to Glenn Coffee) in a 17-14 loss to Alabama

Give the ‘Cats credit for a great effort to upset ‘Bama, but after allowing a 200-yard game to Coffee, it’s safe to say that Kentucky’s coaching staff will stick to decaf this week.

 

PASS DEFENSE

Starter:

Kansas State Wildcats

Allowed 454 yards passing and 6 TD’s to Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell in a 58-28 loss

While Texas Tech’s offense is potent, it’s fair to assume that a secondary filled with Gary Coleman clones would have fared better against the Red Raiders passing game.

 

SPECIAL TEAMS

Starter:

Chris Summers – Purdue

0-2 FG’s plus a missed extra point in a 20-6 loss to Penn State

It’s safe to say that it’s Fall in West Lafayette, and “Summers” is over.

With that being said, the sun is setting on another week in college football. 

 

Until next time, do your best to avoid being a chump.

 

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