WWE: The Funniest Wrestling Quotes of All Time

Angel CervantesContributor IIIMarch 29, 2011

Humor is a natural part of life and we, as a people, just love to laugh.

Well, good thing that the history of WWE has provided plenty of hysterical moments as well as quotes. 

Let's look at some of the funniest wrestling quotes of all time.

-"Now, speaking of sore-losers, how fitting is it that we are in the capital city of sore-losers: Buffalo, New York! Now, I'm talking Super Bowls, Stanley Cup Finals, O.J.! It so doesn't get anymore depressing than right here!"-Christian

-"Helen Hart is the only person I know with an autographed copy of the Bible."-Jerry Lawler

-"I would rather hurt a man...than love a woman."-Mick Foley

-"Haha, you lose! I got your delicious Subway sandwich Jerry 'stupid' Lawler!"-Santino Marella

-"I make love to the beautiful Maria and you make love to your stick!"-Santino Marella to the Sandman

-"Hey, I drank milk that was a DAY past its expiration date. Now THAT is extreme!"-Kurt Angle

-"Don't you ever, and the Rock means ever, come at the Rock and ask him a question like that again or else the Rock will knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to stick a toothbrush up your a** to brush them!"-The Rock

-"Carlito likes to swap spit with men who don't want to be cool."-Santino Marella

-"If you want to see Chris Jericho drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin, give me a doo-a dee-dee-dam, dee-dee-doo."-Chris Jericho

-"That was the absolute worst catch phrase I've ever heard in the history of Monday Night Raw."-Stone Cold Steve Austin

-"I'm Jerry Lawler, I make fun of women because I have no self-esteem."-Santino Marella

-"Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick."-Jerry Lawler

-"I don't have 30 days and 30 nights to show you why all the hoochies say there's nothing finer...than Scott Steiner."-Scott Steiner

-"This leg will be known as Christmas, and this leg will be known as New Year's Eve! Ladies...why don't you all come visit the Big Valbowski between the holidays."-Val Venis

-"Sunny didn't make a fool out of Phineas, God beat her to that."-Jerry Lawler

-"You don't have to yell at me Schiavone. I'm not blind!"-Bobby Heenan

-"The last time I saw that crooked stupid smile on your face, I got-a-so mad, but then I realized...that crooked stupid smile is there all the time."-Santino Marella to Jim Ross

-"I happen to be a three-time former WWF Champion and a hardcore legend, and I never had my own dressing room."-Mick Foley

-"Mick, you never change your clothes."-Edge

-"You just wrestle in what you're wearing."-Christian

-"Yeah, that's a good point."-Mick Foley

-"I have balls the size of grapefruits and come this Sunday, you'll be spitting out the seeds."-Vince McMahon

-"You know, Alundra Blayze, with her looks could star in TV westerns...if she had two more legs."-Jerry Lawler

- "They try to get me to watch The Condemned and I said NO,NO, NO. It's a sad fact Stone Colduh can't act he should GO, GO, GO. He likes to hang out in baaaaaars, I gave his movie zero staaaaaars. They try to make me watch The Condemned and I said uh NO,NO,NO."- Santino Marella

-"The Rock says this, if the Rock hits you he'll kill you. If he misses, the wind behind the punch will give you pneumonia and you'll die anyway, so the choice is yours, jabroni."-The Rock 


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