Evan Longoria: Longo's AK-47 Assault Rifle Stolen from Florida Rental Home
Evan Longoria Won't Be Using His AK Any Time Soon
Before he sold out and started making family-friendly comedies, Ice Cube once taught us all that any day that you don't have to use your AK-47 is a good day.
Unfortunately, he did not elaborate on whether or not a day in which your AK is stolen constitutes a "good day."
Well, maybe Tampa Bay Rays third baseman Evan Longoria can. The St. Petersburg Times reported on Monday that Longo's AK-47 was one of many items that was stolen from a Port Charlotte, Florida that he shares with Rays teammates David Price and Reid Brignac. In all, the burglars made off with about $56,000 worth of items.
The first question that springs to mind is exactly what Longoria needs an assault rifle for. This is something he declined to address, saying simply that the gun is (or was) a "personal item."
"I think everything within the house is personal, and we'll just leave it at that," he said.
To clarify, there was nothing illegal about Longoria's possession of the weapon. The Charlotte County Sheriff's Office said Longo's AK was "perfectly legal" and "absolutely, perfectly legitimate, fully documented." Two Tampa Bay area experts said a gun like an AK-47 is popular among recreational shooters, and one assumes that's what Longo used it for.
Then again, a shooting instructor named Fritz Casper had another take on why Longoria had the weapon: "The only time a person would need a rifle of that magnitude [outside of a range] is if they're fending off zombies."
Ah yes, few things are more perfectly suited to fight off the walking dead than a good AK. Thus, instead of chiding Longoria for owning such a dangerous weapon, perhaps we should praise him for being prepared. By that same token, perhaps we should also realize that the theft has left him completely defenseless, which is certainly nothing to scoff at.
In any case, Longoria should have more important matters on his mind right now. He and the Rays kick off their 2011 season on Friday against the Baltimore Orioles. They may be without several of their former stars, but that doesn't mean they won't be gunning... er, striving for a second straight AL East title. Gun or no gun, they won't be able to get it without Longoria playing up to his capabilities.
Rays fans shouldn't worry about that, as Longoria insisted he and his teammates "didn't lose anything that is going to prevent us from playing baseball."
Well, you heard the man. Let's play ball.
For more on the 2011 baseball season, check out our Projections for the Opening Day Lineups of All 30 Major League Teams.
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