Kentucky's Hartline Sports Bangs to Beat 'Bama (Humor)

“It's a big game for us and Coach Saban is letting us know we haven't achieved anything yet,” Alabama quarterback John Parker Wilson said. “I'm not nervous about Mike attempting to lure the crowd into a silent awe to make his audibles and snap count effective.”

“Once I take that helmet off after our first touchdown, they'll see these sandy waves they've been supporting these past three years and remember who brought them to this dance,” he said.

Alabama Coach Nick Saban is rumored to have a counter-measure for Brooks' coaching-up of Hartline's hairdo. BearsTusks.com, an Alabama football blog, claimed that Saban has scheduled his next use of the Alabama University jet to fly in a Hollywood hairstylist. The reports are founded on tracking numbers, flight paths, and a cross-referencing of last names from a Crimson Tide Booster publication which were all readily available on the Internet.

Rampant hypotheses are pointing toward a Saban hairstyle that will make Hartline's pale in comparison. Some Internet message boards are buzzing with fears that Saban's “Montgomery Brim” could draw too much attention away from Wilson's and Tide's offensive production will suffer as a result.

The savvy coach was quick to fan the flames of the rumors and increasing his team's media coverage to close his last press conference before Saturday's game. “Can you tell me what kind of haircut Les Miles had when his top ranked Tigers lost to this Kentucky team last year?” Saban asked. “You can't, he was wearing a hat. At this time, I'll just say that I won't be repeating his mistake.”

For Saban's Tide to roll, they'll need to overcome a classic trap game with the Wildcats. For Kentucky, the game will be the first measuring stick of the season. And for both teams, they'll get to show a national audience how their products on the field fare, without any product.

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