Gasp! Tiger Woods has a new girlfriend!
Twenty-two-year-old Alyse Lahti Johnston is the latest woman in Woods' life, and the first woman he has been rumored to be dating since the mistress list was compiled.
Welcome to the clubhouse, Alyse.
But armed with this exciting news about Woods' romantic life, aren't you curious as to what his old mistresses are up to these days? Aren't you curious how they've (cashed in) continued on with their lives after reaching infamy for sleeping with Woods?
Of course you are. You've come to the right place.
Presenting the Mistress List: Where are they now?
Uchitel was allegedly mistress No. 1, though she has publicly denied the rumors. Uchitel was cited in a 2009 article by the National Enquirer as a mistress of Woods, based upon the testimony of Ashley Samson.
Previously a nightclub hostess, Uchitel told the New York Post she took classes to be a private investigator at the DGA Detectives Academy, and will be working for their New York offices.
More like a privates investigator. Zing!
According to LongIslandPress.com, she is currently dating a 26 year old insurance underwriter, Matt Hahn.
Who could forget this voicemail, which Grubbs, who claimed to have a 31-month affair with Woods, released days after Woods' accident:
"Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that. Just have it as a number on the voicemail, just have it as your telephone number. You got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly. Bye."
Life and Style claimed that Moquin, a nightclub executive for the Bank nightclub, slept with Woods several times on an October weekend in 2009.
Moquin denied the claims and has remained out of the public eye since.
The former stripper was most recently in the news in September when she told Life & Style that Woods' ex-wife, Elin Nordegren is likely hiding many secrets about the transgressions of Woods. Jungers suspects Nordegren won't talk, however, and likely signed a confidentiality agreement as a part of the settlement she received, reportedly worth $100 million.
Michelle Braun, a madam, claimed that Woods' had hired Jungers as an escort (among many other women), allegations which Jungers denied.
Jungers has most recently appeared in ads for BidHere.com, Three-O Root Beer Vodka and was also an underwear model.
Root beer vodka, the drink of the sophisticated gentleman.
A former dancer at the Penthouse Executive Club in Manhattan, Rist told the NBC's "Today" show in December that she slept with Woods, but denied allegations from Jason Itzler that she worked for him as a call-girl.
Two days after the "Today" show appearance, a judge allowed her to bring her seven-year-old son home with her for the holidays after she passed a drug test.
Poor little guy. He probably just thought he saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.
Lawton, a waitress at Perkins in Orlando, told the London-based tabloid News of the World in 2009 that she had a two-year affair with Woods.
She is currently in jail, serving a one-year sentence for a drunk-driving accident that occurred in 2009.
Woods really kept it classy.
Holly Sampson was another of the escorts Braun claims Woods hired, though Sampson has maintained that she only slept with Woods once, when she was hired to strip for him at a surprise party.
According to Sampson, Woods then had an assistant ask for Sampson to go into his room, she agreed, and they had sex.
Sampson is currently a porn star, and starred in the 2010 adult film, "Tiger's Tail."
Veronica Siwik-Daniels, aka Joslyn James, was an adult film star who left the industry during her three-year relationship with Woods.
According to her (note: not safe for work) website, she has most recently been seen "on Inside Edition, Playboy Online, Hustler Magazine," and is "now receiving many requests for personal appearances, television shows, film opportunities as well as product endorsements."
Jolie was an escort who claimed to have slept with Woods on multiple occasions between 2006 and 2008, though she maintains she only took money from him once.
Wait, what's that? That one time was a $15,000 shopping spree?
Sounds like a signing bonus to me.
In Januaryshe released a book, "The Real Diary from Loredana Jolie: Lessons from the Good Time Girls to Champions." The book, in part, chronicles her sexual experiences with Woods.
On Amazon, the "About the Author" claims that "Loredana Jolie is the most talked about and controversial name in the entire publication industry."
Those are the most ridiculous words ever written.
Postle, a former cocktail waitress at the Roxy Night Club in Orlando, was allegedly involved with Woods in 2004 as a 20-year-old.
At the time, Postle's ex-boyfriend, Brian Kimbrough, claimed Woods would call her under the alias "Mr. Brightside," a well-know Killers song from the 2004 album Hot Fuss.
Ironically enough for Woods, two other singles released from Hot Fuss included "Somebody Told Me" and "All These Things That I've Done," which I'm guessing were on constant repeat in his head for quite some time.
Postle has stayed out of the spotlight since.
Rogers claimed to be Woods' oldest mistress, and to have traveled with him for a five-year period before Woods married Elin Nordegren. Reports also surfaced that she tried to have a child with Woods without his knowledge of her plans.
Nothing of interest to report since then, however.
It's shocking to find that she doesn't have other things going on.
Melinda Janette, aka adult film actress Devon James, claimed to have had a two-and-a-half year affair with Woods. She has since tried to sell a sex tape she claimed she made with Woods, though in November admitted it was a spoof.
In June, she asked a Florida court to establish the paternity of her nine-year-old son, requesting a DNA test of Woods. The judge threw the case out in August.
Later, she was seen shaking a tree, apparently hopeful that money would fall to the ground.
Coudriet, Woods' 22-year-old neighbor, told the National Enquirer last April that she had a one-night stand with Woods in his Orlando office when she was 21. The Enquirer alleges that Woods had known Coudriet since she was 14.
According to the Enquirer, Coudriet was the last straw for Nordgren, and she demanded a divorce soon after the story appeared.
Coudriet has since remained out of the headlines.