In keeping with the spirit of the football offseason, I have constructed a list that has almost no bearing on what will happen this fall. There is very little football fodder for a writer to work with besides the draft and the ever-looming labor situation. Rather than beat a dead horse, I will instead try to flex my creative muscles in the laziest way imaginable. Can anyone say, “Shake Weight?”
To accomplish this feat an in depth, analytical view of some of the NFL’s more beleaguered teams should suffice.
Much like an attractive woman, an important facet of NFL franchises that goes overlooked is their personalities.
Team personalities are largely exemplified by the decisions of the leaders of the team, on and off the field. Therefore, a team’s personality can sometimes be seen in how well or how poorly a team performs. The New England Patriots, for example, are a mysteriously run, curmudgeonly operation. Some would call them a Kim Jong-Il of sorts.
Similarly, MTV’s depressingly popular Jersey Shore is all personality and no substance. What better way to characterize hopeless football teams?