I just saw that article by Warren Groomer and felt it needed a response.
10. The sloppy roads in the Midwest slow the teams down even further.
9. It's hard to make it across all those rivers when they are always on fire.
8. The women are too good looking, they like keeping things average.
7. Teams are scared of getting a farmer's tan.
6. They don't want to marry their cousins, well unless it is Brooklyn Decker, then exceptions can be made.
5. It would cause them to not schedule Directional Michigan and every school in Ohio.
4. Recruiting speed on defense is overrated anyway.
3. Nick Saban is like "The Kramer"...."His struggle is man's struggle...he's a loathsome, offensive brute, yet I can't look away."
2. If they go too far south they could end up wearing jean shorts, jorts for short.
1. Don't want to force Herbstreit out of his element.