It's Eyve here delivering you a rare article of my thoughts on tonight's Raw.
I usually wouldn't write an article because I do most of my ranting on Twitter but 140 characters is clearly not enough so please enjoy!
The Rock’s Opening Promo (5/10)
I know all of you are like what, 5 out of 10? Blasphemy! Nope, not this time. I personally thought The Rock’s promo was weak and here's why. One, he wasn’t in St. Louis live and two, it wasn’t funny at all. Whenever I even think about a Rock promo, I know I'm in for a laugh and some tears because he brings charisma and jokes to the mic like no other. But tonight, it seemed like he lacked both. He did take some personal shots at Cena such as saying that he has no talent and that he wears purple shirts and idolizes Barney but those are things we’ve heard him say before.
Now on the contrary, I’m not saying The Rock made guarantees and promises that he was going to be at every Raw event but I don’t think the fans were looking forward to tuning into the Titantron every week either. He has to remember that the target audience is now overcrowded with children who are gullible as hell. So when you say you're not going to leave "us" again, they are going to expect you to in a sense, keep up your word.
Technically speaking, The Rock is the host of Wrestlemania so I guess he really doesn’t have to make live appearances until that day.
But if you have The Miz out of all people calling you out because you don't show up, you might want to shut that down as quickly as possible.
Regardless of what I say, I'm glad to see The Rock ... in whichever way he permits it.
The Miz Promo / vs. The Great Khali (5/10)
I’ll make this short and sweet. The Miz annoys me to no end, as WWE Champion primarily but I have to give the man his props. His promos are great and it looks like he’s been taking some chapters out of Chris Jericho’s book and we all know, Y2J never disappoints.
After the promo, Miz went up against Khali and I honestly don’t know why this man still has a job. Remember when he was billed as an unstoppable giant? Yeah, me either.
Let’s fast forward, Khali obviously won by DQ due to interference from former WWE NXT loser, Alex Riley. Whoever let this guy in the building should be fired.
Daniel Bryan w/ Gail Kim vs. Sheamus for the United States Championship (7/10)
What really amazes me about this match was that I was actually hoping for Sheamus to win and anyone that knows me knows I’m not too much of a fan of Sheamus’.
It could be that I kind of feel bad because his losing streak due to Kevin Dunn’s dislike of him. Followers of his career could see his downward spiral from a mile away so as the new United States champion may put him back in the spotlight.
Not to mention, Daniel Bryan is a boring champion to me besides his excellent in ring performance. But with Gail Kim on his arm, how could you NOT pay him attention and want to see him?
I mean she looked HOT in those shorts tonight. Lord, I need me an Asian.
Okay, I’m done now.
I only have one question: where does this leave Bryan and more importantly, Gail Kim?
Michael Cole Promo (9/10)
DISCLAIMER: Michael Cole has nothing to do with my rating, whatsoever.
My rating is simply because of one person and one name. Jim Ross.
JR made his surprise return tonight to defend his friend, Jerry Lawler who was being verbally attacked by Michael Cole and the surprise return of his son, Brian Christopher.
You might remember him as Grand Master Sexay from the group Too Cool.
Okay maybe not. Let’s just continue.
Brian Christopher entrance was overshadowed by the loud crickets and the fact that no one really knew who he was. Vince is really shoving old school returns down our necks, huh? But anyway, Christopher had some harsh words for Jerry which is something that a father probably never wants to hear. He claimed Jerry was never there for him as a child because he was busy traveling the world but all that changed when Christopher made it into the WWE.
Now if Chyna’s low blow was devastating enough, Christopher threw out the fact that he, as apart of Too Cool made it to Wrestlemania before his own father. Now can we say brutal? Lawler calls Christopher a screw up which in retaliation, Christopher says he’s ashamed to have Jerry as a father.
You could cut the tension in that segment with a knife.
Michael Cole continues the verbal harassment until Jim Ross makes his arrival. The cheers he received were mediocre but anything can be considered a decent pop compared to Grand Master’s.
Jim Ross basically came out to tell Cole that he’s taken it too far with all the stunts he’s been pulling out his a** and that his career has basically been carried by Lawler. Ross starts to leave the ring which is followed by Michael’s badgering so the Oklahoma native gets back in, ready to brawl.
It was about to be a slobber-knocker (I’m sorry but I had too) until the two were sidetracked by Jack Swagger’s attack on Jerry Lawler.
I definitely called that by the way.
The attack is bought into the ring which Swagger attacks both Lawler and Ross, applying ankle locks to both announcers while Cole eggs him on. I particularly didn’t care for the attack on Jim Ross but I guess it’s better than being set on fire, huh?
The segment ends with Swagger and Cole celebrating.
Am I the only one that wishes Cole to get stunned through a table by Austin at Wrestlemania? Okay I’m not. Good.
Randy Orton vs. Mason Ryan w/ CM Punk (7/10)
I was really hoping Orton wouldn’t lose in his hometown and especially to Batista 2.0 and he definitely went out with a bang.
Well it would technically be more of a bang for Ryan because after losing to RKO, he was punted in the head. He didn’t sell it well at all and it’s probably because of the fact that his head doesn’t move but nonetheless, it was still great to watch.
The face to face stare-down between Punk and Orton after was exciting, for lack of a better word. Ladies, I am trying to remain PG here.
Trish Stratus w/ Snooki vs. Vickie Guerrero (No Disqualification Match) (4/10)
This match was extremely boring and although I love Trish, I would have rather watched Eve in a tag team match. I’m sorry but it’s the truth.
Vickie Guerrero being on Raw now makes me not even want to watch it anymore. She’s a great heel but I would rather get repeatedly run over by a bus than hear her voice. I only tolerated it on Smackdown because Smackdown is where you can find Drew McIntyre and the returning Christian.
To make things worse, Laycool made their appearance on behalf of Vickie, thus helping her win. Michelle McCool approaches Snooki who despite their tremendous height difference stands up to her which resulted in a cat fight. Snooki attacks Layla and Trish attacks Michelle.
After separation, a match between Laycool and Dolph Ziggler against Trish, Morrison and Snooki is made at Wrestlemania.
Now where have I seen this before? Ah, yes. TNA.
I assume this is supposed to up the ante against TNA and increase Wrestlemania sales but with Snooki’s addition, Vince can subtract one more less excited fan to the list.
John Cena vs. Alberto del Rio w/ Brodus Clay (4/10)
This match bored me to all hell, even more than Trish and Vickie. I want Alberto to go to and remain on Smackdown, Brodus Clay needs to find his way back to FCW and John Cena in the main event, let alone championship run has become stale.
With the exception of me marking out to The Rock’s music and getting utterly disappointed to see The Miz impersonating him, the match sucked.
I never thought I’d say this but with his weekly attacks on John Cena, The Miz might actually be proving to me and every other anti-Miz fan that maybe he really should be paid attention too.
But I refuse to become a fan of his. I simply refuse.
I rate the show a 5/10. It didn’t keep my attention. Unfortunately, Bad Girls Club and the replay of Basketball Wives Reunion did.
Thanks for reading!