March Madness is here and my bracket-filling hand is tingling. You see, I know it is only a matter of time before a bunch of these schools let me down.
Gonzaga, I am looking at you.
So it is important to take from this mad, mad world something that will never let you down—amazingly hot co-eds and fans.
This is an important time for the sports world. For the next few weekends, we will be inundated with amazing finishes and upsets. We must remind ourselves to take a step back and look at all the pretty females.
I am here to do just that. So lay down your brackets and shut down that Joe Lunardi article. Take some time to meditate with images of these fine ladies from the world of March Madness.
Butler has a bad draw to contend with. The Bulldogs face a very tough team in Old Dominion to start. If they sidestep that hurdle, they get Pittsburgh.
I guess if they flame out early, they can always attend one of the many slumber parties taking place on campus. That is what this picture is all about, right?
I believe moments later, this scene devolved into a tickle fight.
That's my dream. Don't tread on the dream.
UAB could very well be gone as quickly as it came in. The Blazers get Clemson first. If they win there, they get the unenviable task of playing West Virginia.
I guess what I am trying to say is: Savor this bid, UAB. Savor it immediately.
Also, you may not want to put on that much body paint. The paint may last longer than your appearance in the tournament.
The Huskies on the court may lack size to make a deep run in March, but they are certainly talented in the cheerleader department.
I miss college. The late nights, the copious beer and the hot women that wouldn't talk to me.
Ah, how I loved that beer.
The Vols are a solid team all around. They can get up and down the court and play a good amount of defense for my taste. They also play very well away from home.
They do however lack a star on the court. They need one player that can take over a game by himself.
Then again, maybe they don't.
These girls are all eights. Together, they make an All-Star team of hot. Maybe that is what we should expect from Tennessee.
The Orange sometimes get too enamored with their outside game. Well, I am completely smitten with this college co-ed.
She almost makes me want to go back to school. I said, "almost."
Now she should see a dermatologist about that skin rash that looks like an "S."
The Akron Zips' chances to move past the first round are slim to none. Sort of like my chances of scoring with these girls.
I guess I could amaze them with my ability to answer trivia questions about "Full House" or "Saved by the Bell." That always makes the ladies melt. Well, not always.
It is more like never.
Cute, not extremely hot. More fluff than is warranted.
I am of course talking about the Louisville basketball team—quite possibly the most overrated team in the field.
This girl, however, is actually hot. There is nothing overrated about this beauty queen.
I would say that this BYU co-ed is as cute as a button. As I have never found buttons to be all that cute, I will say she is as cute as a capuchin monkey wearing a hat feeding a little puppy. That is fairly cute.
BYU's future rests in the hands of Jimmer Fredette. Let's see if he can stay hot for another couple of weeks. My money is on an eventual loss to Florida.
I should probably rip up my bracket now.
The Pac-10 may not have had the best showing this year, but it still houses some of the hottest women in the world.
If you don't believe me, then you are unable to be reasoned with. I don't spend my time dealing with people that are incredulous. I spend it looking at hot pics on the Internet.
The Wolverines rely too heavily on the outside shot for my taste. If they get hot though, they could make a run at the Sweet 16.
All they really need is a dab of this delectable co-ed. She is hot enough for a Final Four run.
The Huskies hopes and dreams lie on the shoulders of Kemba Walker. If he is on his game, UConn is unstoppable.
If the Huskies do flame out early, at least they will have amazing beauties like these to lick their wounds.
The Bulldogs like to breach the inside and pound the ball in. That will help in their matchup with the smaller Washington Huskies.
They are also a team that lives on the edge. You can see this in their fans that like to rollerblade with no pads or helmets.
That is just ridiculous, ladies. Have you never heard of using protection?
The Boilermakers have one of the best coaches in the tournament in Matt Painter. That fact is extremely boring.
What isn't boring is their dance team.
If there were any more hot chicks in this picture it would be illegal. At the very least, it would be extremely crowded.
Texas gets a fourth seed. That is like calling Irina Shayk cute. But the Longhorns' bruising defense should make people stand up and notice this large team.
I am more interested in their women though.
This is a Texas tailgate. It is like any other tailgate, only with more cowboy hat and cleavage.
I am sorry ladies. We do not allow body paint in the Bleacher Report. Please hit the showers and wash it off. Yes, all of you.
'Nova hits the hardwood against George Mason to open the tourney. That, my friends, is an eight-versus-nine matchup.
Please empty your pockets for a quarter and flip it. That is how I decide these middle-of-the-pack contests.
San Diego State took the college football world by storm. Now, the Aztecs are shaping the college basketball landscape like a roaring hurricane.
This team has a real chance of getting into the Final Four, depending on what kind of mood Kemba Walker is when, and if, the Aztecs meet UConn.
Well, a long run by the Aztecs is a very good thing. You don't need many of their fans to travel. Each one of their females on campus is gorgeous.
That is a very nice ratio.
The Tar Heels basketball team is a lot like this woman. There is not a ton to take exception with.
In fact, there may not be a blemish on the team, or her, for that matter.
The Heels may lack depth. That is where this beauty differs, unless she is reading "The Greatest Hits of Garfield" or something.
Clemson will try to push and shove its way past UAB in their No. 12-seed contest. The Tigers don't really have a threat from deep, but they have plenty of heat packing the stands.
Do you see what I did there?
I just wish they made a bikini top in my size. The late-night trips to Jack in the Box almost mandate one.
If Chris Singleton has a career game, the Seminoles could catch the Aggies napping. That is my hope anyway. I need to get my fill of Seminoles fans for at least two games.
Their whole campus is like this photo. It is like a male oasis.
Kansas State will have to contend with an underrated Utah State team from the get-go.
There is nothing underrated about this co-ed. In fact, the No. 9 she wears is pretty spot on.
I would give you a 10, lady. That's just because I am a nice guy.
Would a nice guy interest you?
Any room with this many ladies is a room I want to find myself in.
There is a lot to smile about, ladies. Your Badgers play some great defense. They can shock us all and beat Pittsburgh if they get that far.
They could also flame out against Belmont. I say they at least make the second round.
At least you always have the Packers though.
I have never liked the Blue Devils. How can I get on board with a team that always wins?
Well, I may have just reconsidered my stance on the whole issue.
I like their current team. I like the way they play. I like...who am I kidding? I really like their fans and cheerleaders.
Jared Sullinger is a nice talent that will be banging down low in the NBA in no time. There is something to be said for hot cheerleaders though. Every great team has one.
The Lakers...well, that is as far as I got.
You cannot dismiss this Buckeyes team, especially with talent like this on the sidelines.
Hot women at Notre Dame are ubiquitous. That is why they are just lying around on the floors of dormitories and kitchens. That is where FHM took this photo, I assume.
The Irish have a fighting chance to grab a Final Four berth. They will need Ben Hansbrough to continue his stellar play though.
Everybody has a team that unnerves him in March. The team that always does me dirty is Gonzaga.
If I pick the Zags to flame out, they march deep into the tournament. If I pick them to advance, they stumble and fall.
I just wish they would stop making the field every single year. No matter what I do, they will kill my bracket. At the very least, they will put it on life support.
Well, at least this picture will brighten the day my bracket perishes.
The only good win UNLV had this year was against Wisconsin. The only reason I really care about the school is its stunning women.
Seriously, how are you supposed to concentrate with these two cheering you on? This is a pressure-cooker situation, ladies.
Stay home so your players can keep their minds on the game.
USC still has to play into the final field of 64. I am a little torn here.
Being a Cal fan, I have a hatred for all things USC. Yet I can't discount the Trojan females.
The whole campus is a bunch of 10s. If you look real hard, you can sometimes spot an 11 in there.
The Aggies will rely on Khris Middleton for their offense. Other than that, the Aggies don't have too much going for them on offense.
This picture doesn't have that much going for it either, unless you count the dynamic duo in the middle, of course.
The Gauchos will lose their first-round contest with Florida. I know it. You know it. The whole campus has an inkling.
That does not negate the fact that I wish I would have been a Gaucho in college. This is what girls wear to class.
Well, that may be false. But in my twisted mind, it is what they wear to their bio-chem finals.
Kentucky gets Princeton in the first round. That is never an easy match to contend with. Good thing for the Wildcats that they have some tough defense and great shooting from the outside.
Oh, they also have one of the hottest college basketball fans ever in Ashley Judd. That should make them feel good if they happen to flame out early.
You can never count out a Tom Izzo team. You also can count me out from finding some sweet-looking girlies for you.
I just married the girl on the left in my mind. It was a beautiful ceremony complete with a three-tier ice cream cake and an In-N-Out truck.
I know how things should be catered.
Here are some Old Dominion girls hard at work. I just wish someone would teach them how to take a proper photo.
You face the camera, girls. It's not brain surgery. It's not even podiatry.
I like Old Dominion. I just wish the Monarchs didn't have to contend with Pittsburgh in the second round. This should be an early offseason for the Monarchs.
There is nothing sadder than an extremely hot woman that nobody will talk to. Maybe if you weren't so stunning we could get a word in.
Well, the team she roots for is not overtly hot—they are sneaky hot. I am confident that the Aggies will make a deep run in March.
Should I flush my bracket down the toilet now?
The Gators have it all. They have a great basketball team, nice weather, a perfect draw to the Sweet 16 and hot women.
If I weren't so distracted right now I might be a tad jealous.
There is a place where the weather is almost always perfect and the women are knock-you-down hot. I like to call this place heaven. The GPS states that it is Westwood, the home of the UCLA Bruins.
I have no idea how the men's team looks this year. Mostly because I have been staring at this picture all season.