Headshots: Bring On Ohio State, Indeed

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Headshots: Bring On Ohio State, Indeed
This just in: Minnesota and Ohio State are still who we thought they were.

Beanie Wells hurdling defenders and Terrelle Pryor knocking over grown men were the only 2 things that surprised me against Minnesota.

Well, add the final score to that. It felt like a 41-6 game and not 34-21 game. You have no one to thank for that besides Tim Brewster (a whiny, enthusiastic prick) who has guided the Gophers from good to awful to somewhere around bad. The good thing about Glenn Mason (and most other coaches) is that he knew when the bell went off, the round was over. The 2005 Ohio State – Minnesota shootout was a pleasure to watch, unlike Brewster’s display of “we’ve got them right where we want them, their third string is in”. If it helps them gain some confidence, so be it. But as Barack Obama would say: if you put lipstick on a pig, it’s still a pig.

Now on to the weekend…

(+) Terrelle Pryor
Is it just me, or does everyone like watching Terrelle Pryor with the ball in his hands? Maybe he’s like a new toy that I haven’t had a chance to be disappointed with yet, but I expect something good to happen every time he releases the ball or runs with it. People keep saying he’s going to play like a freshman one day, but that’s not a given. Sure, he telegraphs a few throws, throws a changeup when he should have thrown the heat, and throws late some of the time. But he seems to have the ability to completely and utterly redeem himself with plays a freshman should not make.

(-) Ryan Pretorious
Mike Nugent and Josh Huston always had the fan’s respect and would rarely missed gimme field goals. Dude, you even beat out Aaron Pettrey for the job. Last year, you kept getting kicks blocked (you’re fault and the line’s fault). This year, you’ve missed easy (for a kicker) kicks against USC and now Minnesota. I don’t know if it’s a mental thing, but sometimes Ohio State and Jim Tressel need a kicker to win a game. Don’t worry, because Pettrey has been hit or miss on kickoffs.

(+) Beanie Wells
Beanie will only be 75% this season. Oh well, he couldn’t have felt much better last year. Without Beanie, the running backs rate a B-. With Beanie, it’s an A+. I really have no idea how Wells turns 3 yard gains into 10 yard gains. While Boom is a good strong back, he’s not Chris Wells (thanks for the info). Boom looked as good against the Gophers as he did USC, but Beanie showed why he truly is the #1 back in the nation. If an injured Beanie Wells can jump over a safety, can a healthy Beanie fly?

(-) Wisconsin
Thanks. All you had to do was hold on to a 19-0 lead (which should have been more) to beat lowly Michigan. Instead, you let Steven Threet run the read option for a 58-yard gain. Steven Threet! You do understand that you have to play against Terrelle Pryor and Beanie Wells next week? The worst part about it is that Wisky had to have practiced against it, because it was Rich Rodriguez. That’s all he does, that’s it. So Wisconsin not only gave Michigan confidence (they didn’t earn it), they also drop in the polls a week before the Ohio State game? C’mon.

(+) Alabama and Penn State
Alabama made Georgia look like it was Ohio State playing a SEC team. Say what you will about Jim Tressel and staff, they have never allowed a 31-0 deficit especially not a 31-0 deficit at home. Bama deserves to be #1, until they drop a random game or two down the stretch. Don’t forget the Tide SHOULD have beat LSU last year, then dropped one to Louisiana-Lafayette.

Meanwhile, Penn State not only outscored the Illini, the Oregon State team they blew out beat up on USC. Talk about PR. Oregon State was up 21-0 on the mighty Trojans. Penn State proved again that a White-Out is their best friend. Their only problem? Their enemy must be the Scarlet-and-Gray-and-White-and-Whatever-Anyone-Else-Wears-Out at Ohio Stadium: The Nittany Lions are 0-for-all of their attempts at Ohio Stadium.

The difference between the Georgia and USC loses and the Ohio State loss? They actually tried to come back and win. OSU? They’re planning on scoring a touchdown on USC sometime this week. Element of surprise, people.

(-) Florida and Auburn
This should really be a plus, since both are ahead of Ohio State in the polls. But Florida lost to an Ole Miss and how does the hell does he do what he does-wait he doesn’t know Houston Nutt. I give Jevan Snead a helmet sticker for bending Urban Meyer and thanking him for lying about recruiting both Snead and Tim Tebow, who incidentally can jump tall buildings but can’t gain 2 feet. In reality, the Florida offense is more explosive than Ohio State’s but has had arguably worse production through the first part of the season.

Speaking of offensive inefficiency, Tommy Tuberville’s transition to the spread ala Florida has resulted in offensive production so bad, Michigan and Auburn could play and they’d call the game at half and tell them both to just go home. How about beating Tennessee 14-12 on a 0-yard fumble return for a TD. They played well against LSU (probably why they are above OSU), but handled Mississippi by a score of 3-2. But they are in the SEC, so they get a pass. I’ll take Vandy and the points next week.

(?) Ohio State Defense
It’s not going to change. I know it, you know it. We’re going to sit back, hang out, and chase opponents all over the field. Did you see what happened to Georgia when they sat back and played zone without a defensive push? 31-0. I see a pattern. There’s nothing wrong with zone coverage, until you give relatively mediocre QBs 10 seconds to throw. There are a few guys stepping up, namely Jermale Hines, but overall the defensive performances have been, eh, okay. Ohio State will play a team that can run AND pass and they’ll give up 24 straight points. Wisconsin won’t be the team to do it, but Penn State seems functional; Illinois a little less so. I get jealous when I see other teams impose their will on the opposing offense, rather than just running around tackling someone from behind. Thanks Coach Heacock.

(+) USC: It’s never a bad day to be USC. Still in the Top 10. SEC: It’s never a bad day to be in the SEC. Just being in the conference earns you a Top 25 spot. Texas: They beat Arkansas, and the name is all that matters. Just like Washington for the Buckeyes…wait a second. Northwestern: Undefeated regular season? No way. Notre Dame: ND scores 38 points, stock market collapses. End of the world?

(-) Clemson: Not who we thought they were. Eastern Carolina: Those first 2 weeks were fun. Tennessee: I told you Tennessee isn’t any good. Are they still in the Top 25? ACC: Wake Forest lost to Navy. Who do they think they are, Notre Dame?
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