Weekend Capsule: Football, Football and More Football

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Weekend Capsule: Football, Football and More Football

Some random thoughts from a wild weekend…

I lost $10 to a two-time ArenaBowl MVP: You can’t make this stuff up.

Matt D’Orazio, formerly of the Arena Football League’s Chicago Rush and a current member of the Philadelphia Soul, is the color commentator for Capital football games. He is also an unabashed Ohio State hater.

Last week, he made a bet with Matt Waddell, our play-by-play man, on the OSU-Troy game. The official spread was OSU -20.5, but D’Orazio took Troy only getting nine points. Confident or foolish, I don’t know, but the Bucks covered easily and Waddell fleeced him. And I kicked myself for not taking the bet.

Fast forward to this past Saturday. The Bucks were giving 20 points to the Golden Gophers, and D’Orazio wanted a chance to get his money back. Naturally, I wanted in on the action. D’Orazio was more stubborn this time and set the line at OSU -16.5.

So what ends up happening? The Bucks are coasting to the cover, and Minnesota scores a garbage touchdown with a minute left, then tacks on an “F-U” two-point conversion to make the final score 34-21.

This is why I don’t generally gamble.

Speaking of Ohio State: I got nothing against Todd Boeckman – I’m not going to be the guy standing outside his dorm room booing him – but, uhh, why didn’t Terrelle Pryor play more against USC?

Yes, Troy and Minnesota’s defenses aren’t anywhere close to the caliber of USC’s. But the kid can play. And with him and Beanie Wells in the backfield, there’s no reason why the offense can’t average over 200 yards rushing per game.

College football…wow: Let’s look at this possible scenario.

USC loses to Oregon State. Oregon State got hammered by Penn State. Ohio State still has to play Penn State, and let’s say the Bucks knock them off in Columbus. Then, obviously, you have USC hammering Ohio State.

How wacky is that??? It just goes to show that anything can happen in any given game. And previous games mean nothing.

Then you factor in Florida choking to Ole Miss, Wisconsin blowing a game in the Big House, Alabama running roughshod over Georgia…incredible.

Hooray Browns!: Oh my God, they finally won a game!

Yeah, I know, Ryan Fitzpatrick, the pride of Harvard was starting at QB for the Bungals and not Carson Palmer. And yeah, Derek Anderson didn’t play well for three-quarters of the game. And Romeo Crennel still scares the bejeezus out of me.

But we won. And we don’t have to stare at “0-4” for the next two weeks. Orange slices for everybody!

Braylon…Just Stop. Please.: Braylon Edwards, you can start celebrating when you have more touchdown catches than you do drops on the season.

I was livid with his touchdown. Don’t believe me? Just ask the people I was watching the game with. He drops the easiest passes, then makes an unbelievable grab in the end zone for the score. Then has a dumb celebration with the air guitar.

Braylon, I want to love you, but you need to prove to me that you finally have your head screwed on straight.

And another thing…: Braylon beat former Michigan teammate Leon Hall for his touchdown. Moments later, my buddy Mike texted me to let me know that Charles Woodson had a “pick six” against former Michigan teammate Brian Griese.

What’s the point of this? Nothing, except that no matter where you are in the world reading this right now, Michigan still sucks.

Ken Whisenhunt should be fired: I don’t understand why coaches are just dumb.

The Arizona Cardinals are trailing the New York Jets by 21 points with about 30 seconds left in the game. Most starters – on both teams - are still in the game, and I’m not sure why, because at this point the Cardinals should have been packed up and getting ready to board its flight back to McCain-land.

Cards QB Kurt Warner throws a pass into the end zone, and Anquan Boldin, the team’s star receiver, reaches out for it, only to be cracked on a helmet-to-helmet collision. Boldin goes down and is stretchered off the field, but thankfully it appears as if he’s going to be all right.

But why was he still in the game at that point? I mean, I’m not saying that I’d rather see Arizona’s third-string receiver need to be taken off the field on a stretcher, and I realize that football is a contact sport and injuries are bound to happen.

But you have to protect your players. Especially the ones who give you the slimmest hopes of actually winning games. Whisenhunt failed miserably in that and should not have a job today.

Finally…: Hats off to my man Marty Assmann and the Capital Crusaders football team. Perhaps inspired on Saturday with the knowledge that John McCain and Sarah Palin were coming to campus today (Monday), Marty threw for 454 yards and three touchdowns in leading the No. 4 Crusaders to a 48-28 win.

Marty was just 23 yards shy of breaking the school record for passing yards and was named the Ohio Athletic Conference Player of the Week for his efforts.

Atta boy, Marty. And if you throw for 500 yards against No. 1 Mount Union in two weeks, I’ll buy you a steak.

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