Only someone like me would work on vacation.

Well, I guess” work” is a relative term, especially when you write about sports for a living, and more importantly, when your vacation includes heading out to Arizona to lay in the sun, watch some spring training baseball, and spend your time- in general- just abusing your body with copious amounts of alcohol and Mexican food. Trust me when I say that after five days away, I’m carrying an extra 12 lbs, and am one chin and an 89 mph fastball away from being Bartolo Colon. I wish I was kidding.

Either way, the best part of the trip was undoubtedly the baseball. On Friday, my friends and I caught the second half of a Cubs-Royals game in Surprise, and then followed up with some Giants-Dodgers in Glendale. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a pen and paper to record everything from the second game. But I did for the first.

Here’s how it went down:

12:00 p.m.: After shaking off a hangover from the previous night, I’m rounding up the crew to head out to breakfast. Who knew all it’d take was four Advil, two glasses of water, a cup of coffee, a shower and one hour long episode of Ellen to get me feeling like myself again?

For context’s sake, here’s what you need to know about today’s baseball crew: I’m traveling with two of my college buddies Paul (our host and resident birthday boy) and Steve, as well as our friend Mallory.

Two important notes on Mallory:

1) She was the brains behind this whole trip, and I’m pretty sure none of us would’ve been able to even book the plane tickets without her. And…

2) She’s a huge Royals fan, hence why we’re going to the first game.

That second note is also important to give you further insight into our breakfast conversation, which consisted almost entirely of Royals and Kansas City related sports jokes. Honestly, I think even our waiter got in a few cheap shots.

While there isn’t enough space on this website to share them all (this column might end up 20,000 words if that were the case), just know that I got everyone laughing when I told them about the time Deion Sanders described Charlie Weis’ wearing a red Kansas City Chiefs polo shirt by saying, “My Gawd, it looks like Charlie is wearing a tent!” Needless to say, Mal didn’t find that joke nearly as funny as the rest of us did.

1:30: Time to head to the airport to pick up Paul’s sister Sarah, who is flying into town for his birthday. To kill time on the drive, all of us guys share stories, none of which can be printed here, and quite a few of which would land us in jail. In a related story, Mal is so disgusted she asks to get dropped off on the side of the road. I can’t blame her.

2:00: We get to the airport to get Sarah, and quickly help her get her bags into the car to try and get on the road to the game. Not surprisingly, Sarah abides by the commonly known rule that says, “Anytime a female travels, she’s obligated to pack at least 10 times more clothes than she can actually physically wear.” Although in her defense, she actually had been traveling before getting to Arizona. Still, after lifting two bags roughly the size of Delaware into the bed of Paul’s truck, I needed an oxygen tank and a hug. Again, I'm on vacation. And not in peak physical shape.

2:25: After a little traffic we arrive at the Surprise Baseball Complex in Surprise, AZ, site of today’s game. As we get out of the car, Paul quickly chirps, “The biggest Surprise would be if (today’s starter) Bruce Chen is still pitching when we get into the stadium.”

2:31: Bruce Chen isn’t still pitching when we get into the stadium.

2:33: Everybody grabs a few beers, and we head to our seats on the lawn, where the Cubs already have a 4-0 lead, it’s the fifth inning, and the Royals have one hit. Impressively, Kansas City is already in mid-season form.

2:34: By the way, did I mention it’s 78 degrees without a cloud in the sky? This once again proves my theory that when God retires, he’s going to get a winter home in Arizona.

2:37: With the game in between innings, I quickly scan the lawn, and am impressed with the turnout of Cubs fans. By the way, you know how I know they’re Cubs fans? Every male has a mustache and their shirt off. A few females too, come to think of it.

2:39: As we get set for the bottom half of the inning, the Cubs bring in hot shot free agent signee…Kerry Wood! Can you feel the excitement? To his credit, Wood looks spry and refreshed in a Cubs uniform, and definitely not a day over 50.

2:41: With Wood on the mound, I tell everyone about the time I was at Wrigley Field for Kerry Wood life-sized poster giveaway day. The girls are so intrigued…they decide it’s time to go hang out by the bullpen and ogle baseball players. The guys decide it’s time to grab another beer, leaving me on the lawn by myself.

What? All my stories can’t be gold, alright?

2:43: By the way, did I mention it’s 78 degrees and my skin is starting sizzle like an overcooked steak? I did mention that right? Ok, just making sure.

2:48: Wood retires the side, as we head to the top of the inning. Defensive changes are announced with the names “Mike Moustakas,” and “Eric Hosmer,” blaring over the loud speaker. Why are those guys important? Well, mainly because they’re two of the top 10 prospects in baseball. Also, they're the first real hope for Royals fans since sometime in the Reagan Administration. No pressure kids!

(Because of the extremely long nature of this article, this is just PART I of Aaron's spring training recap. To read PART II, please click here, or visit www.aarontorres-sports.com.

Also, be sure to follow Aaron on Twitter for updates on his articles, podcasts and giveaways!)