NBA Power Rankings: Who Has the Hottest Dance Squad in the League?
Sometimes when your favorite NBA squad isn't looking hot during a game and you're becoming rather bored and uninterested, you simply leave the arena in disgust.
But why leave the arena when you have a professional dance squad right in front of you?
Next time you think about walking out on your team, look down to court side and look at these beauties.
They can entertain a man for hours and their dance routine is out of control.
Here are my rankings of the NBA's dance teams.
No need to thank me, but you can if you want.
30. Memphis Grizzlies
For the record, I just want to say I find multiple girls on every dance team in the NBA attractive.
The Grizz Girls, however, impressed the least in my eyes.
Their team, however, has surprisingly gotten better.
29. Golden State Warriors
As a Warriors fan, this was hard for me to do, but, honestly, I've never really been that impressed with the Warrior Girls, nor the Warriors team unless you go back to the playoffs circa 2007.
Sure, a true hottie finds herself on the squad from time to time, but as a whole they just don't do it for me. Same could be said for the team, as in a true star find his way onto the team from time to time, but as whole they just don't do it for me.
In NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket, they lost in the first round to the New Orleans Honeybees.
28. Portland Trail Blazers
The one in the middle here is stunning, but as a whole the Blazer Dancers don't match up that well to the rest of the NBA, unlike the Blazers on the basketball court, who continue to finds ways to win despite losing members of their squad.
They were beat out by the Denver Nuggets Dancers in the first round of NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket.
27. Toronto Raptors
The Raptors' Dance Pak has some beauties on their squad, and they're starting to get the idea on how to compete with the rest of the league's dance teams, but they still need some work.
Some time you need to ax a hottie for a hotter hottie. As for the Raptors basketball team, sometimes you need to ax a player for a better player.
It's a cruel world.
26. New York Knicks
The New York Knicks may have found Carmelo Anthony on the basketball court, but they still are looking for a superstar on their dance squad.
The Knicks Dancers have some "talent," but not enough to make the top 25.
25. Washington Wizards
Practice makes perfect, as they say.
For these girls, that applies at the gym, as well.
The one on the right's my favorite.
As for the one on the left, she shows good team spirit, doing the "Dougie" like John Wall.
24. Minnesota Timberwolves
The Timberwolves Dancers got dealt a harsh first round matchup in NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket, getting pitted against the Oklahoma City Thunder Girls.
But that doesn't mean the Timberwolves Dancers are slouches.
They undoubtedly have some talent, as seen in this photograph, and are a bit underrated in my opinion.
Kevin Love is also underrated in my opinion, but not in terms of sexiness, that would be weird.
23. Cleveland Cavaliers
For now, the Cavaliers have a better dance squad than a basketball team, but maybe if Cavs players stare at their cheerleaders long enough they'll get the gumption to start a comeback.
22. Milwaukee Bucks
I hate to put the Energee! so low, as I think they've done a good job being hot on a team that has perennially struggled.
But they're not quite top-20 material and were bounced in the first round by the Celtics Dancers in NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket.
But they'll start gaining more recognition if they continue to improve their squad.
21. Detroit Pistons
The Automotion make my heart go on automotion, and that's not a good thing, because it starts beating faster and faster and I can't stop it unless I stop looking at the Pistons dancers...but why would I wanna do that?
The Automotion are another underrated dance team in the NBA, and people need to look at them more.
As for the Pistons team, they aren't that fun to watch, just a bunch of bitter veterans angry at their coach.
20. Houston Rockets
Watch this video, and realize these were just the Final Auditions.
Meaning only the best of this bunch were selected.
That will give you an idea of the rising quality of the Rockets Power Dancers.
Maybe I'll try out, I would stand a good chance of crashing this Finals Audition with my sexy moves.
I also think it would be funny if Yao Ming all of a sudden came out and started dancing...but that would mean he wasn't injury-prone, which simply is living in a fantasy world.
19. Indiana Pacemates
The Pacemates overall just scratch the top 20, but as for me, they may be one of the squads that draws me in the most, given they are both hot and cute.
Hot + Cute = Magnetizing in my book.
Pacers basketball team + new coach = Much more magnetizing than before, but still overshadowed by the Pacemates.
They were knocked out by the New Jersey Nets Dancers in the first round of NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket.
18. Utah Jazz
The Jazz Dancers, despite having an awesome name, also are hot on a general scale throughout their squad. It remains to be seen if the Utah Jazz is a hot team without point guard Deron Williams and coach Jerry Sloan.
They got knocked out of the second round to the New Orleans Honeybees in NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket, but who doesn't?
The Honeybees trump a lot of squads.
17. Chicago Bulls
Oh, aren't they just so Luvabull?
The sound in this video cuts out after a bit; it's kinda like how us men lose focus of everything around us and go into a dream-like state when these girls dance about.
The Luvabulls got blown out by the Charlotte Ladycats in the second round, but they'll always have a special place in my heart.
The Chicago Bulls don't figure to get blown out a lot by the Charlotte Bobcats in the second round of the playoffs considering the Bobcats might not even make the playoffs.
16. Denver Nuggets
With the Nuggets Dancers seen here dancing to "We Will Rock You," I bet a lot of Nuggets fans were saying at the time, "I'd like to see you try."
The Nuggets basketball team has been rocking lately, despite losing Carmelo Anthony.
15. Philadelphia 76ers
The Sixers Dancers didn't make it out of the first round in NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket, but they almost upset the eventual champion Charlotte Ladycats.
Also, they're highly underrated in my opinion.
They have talent across the board.
The 76ers, eh, not so much.
14. Orlando Magic
The screenshot for this video may have you thinking otherwise, but once you actually watch the video, you realize these girls are definitely top-15 worthy, if not better.
They beat out the Atlanta A-Town Dancers in the second round of NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket, but I have different ideas...muahaha.
Can they beat out the A-Town Hawks in the playoffs?
13. Atlanta Hawks
The Magic Dancers beat out the A-Town Dancers 58 percent to 42 percent in NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket, but this is my list dammit, and I'm going to do it my way.
In my opinion, the A-Town Dancers have a hotter collective group of hotties than the Magic Dancers.
But that's debatable.
Some people, however, will say that Magic being better than the Hawks is not debatable.
12. San Antonio Spurs
Here's a 10-minute video of the Silver Dancers' Final Auditions, for all your viewing pleasure.
The Spurs undoubtedly have some beauties sitting courtside, even without Eva Longoria.
My guess is that Tony Parker will start dating one of them soon, just as soon as he recovers from the Lakers blowing out his team.
11. New Jersey Nets
The Nets Dancers are in such great shape, they can freakin' dunk!
Well, maybe with the help of a trampoline, but still, these girls are in great shape, and their looks complement their bodies very nicely.
A nice well-rounded bunch.
Is the Nets basketball team well-rounded? We shall see.
10. Sacramento Kings
I have a few friends that are Kings fans, and I know I'll be hearing about this one being a Warriors fan, but you simply can't ignore pictures like this.
Plus, I've been to Arco Arena and the girls are just as nice-looking in person.
Fit for a king, I say.
Not a Sacramento King.
9. New Orleans Hornets
The Honeybees are about as attractive as can bee, and are about as sweet as honey, too.
The Hornets aren't nearly as attractive on the court as their dance squad.
They were a bit overmatched against the Suns Dancers, but they're definitely top-10 worthy, and embody the partying spirit that makes New Orleans such a great Mardi Gras destination.
8. Boston Celtics
The Boston Celtics have some great Celtics Dancers.
Just think, Ashley here isn't even an anomaly on this squad, she's just one of many beauties in Boston.
Guard Ray Allen throws up many beauties from 3-point range ( I was talking about shots, not cheerleaders).
7. Oklahoma City Thunder
The Thunder Girls get it so right each and every year they actually have been featured in Maxim.
This year's group is another thunderous squad that has already made waves throughout the NBA.
Same goes for the basketball team, trying to maximize their potential.
6. Dallas Mavericks
The Mavs Dancers have long been known to be one of the hottest squads in the NBA, and they only lost in NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket to the Phoenix Suns Dancers, which is nothing to be ashamed of.
However, if the Mavs basketball team loses to the Suns, Dirk Nowitzki might just cry like a Miami Heat.
5. Miami Heat
Turn up the Heat and you've got the Heat Dancers, prepared to blow your mind like an erupting volcano.
The team on the basketball floor may have its ups and downs, but the Heat Dancers are always on top of their game of looking hot.
4. Phoenix Suns
The Suns Dancers are some of the hottest dancers in the NBA, proving the point that usually if you live in hot weather, there will be plenty of hot women around.
This girls may even be hotter than the weather in Phoenix.
As for the Suns...FailBlog.org.
3. Charlotte Bobcats
NBA.com's Dance Team Bracket had the Ladycats come out on top, and deservedly so, but as hot as these girls are, I still have reservations for the next two squads on this list.
Here's a remix for your enjoyment/to make you go crazy.
The Bobcats are probably making fans go crazy right about now, on the cusp of the playoffs but still holding the ninth seed in the Eastern Conference.
2. Los Angeles Clippers
LA-LA Land has been known to be centered a lot on appearance, at least in Hollywood and on the basketball court.
NBA fans thanks LA for this gift, a gift that will keep on giving every year.
But with Baron Davis out of town, there won't be as many attractive alley-oops to Blake Griffin.
1. Los Angeles Lakers
The LA Lakers are not only in search for another NBA championship, they also have bar-none the hottest dancers in the league in my opinion.
These girls are the cream of the crop, and have become almost as big as the team throughout the years.
If you haven't seen or heard about the Laker Girls, you probably aren't from this planet, so you should probably get that checked out.