WWE RAW Review: John Cena Raps, Steve Austin Returns and Fans Riot

Eric Kanes@EricKanesContributor IIIMarch 9, 2011

What's up, ladies and gentlemen? My name is Eric Kanes and I welcome you to another edition of the most anticipated RAW Review on the net. This week we're going to do things a little differently. Rather than review the show after I recap it like I usually do, I will simply give my thoughts on the show in a bullet point format. Let me know which format you like more in the comment section below and that is the format that I shall use for all future editions of the RAW Review and Smack Talk.

Live from Dallas, Texas this is the RAW Review.


Segment One: The Undertaker Promo

-I'm loving Undertaker's new theme song. It's a lot easier to listen to for three minutes than the previous one.

-That's a pretty sick video package that The Undertaker showed. I never knew that he had a part time job on the video editing team.

-I guess they're going the route of a No Holds Barred match to allow them to have shortcuts that will protect Taker's injured shoulder.

-Ha, there was a sign that said "Push DiBiase or we riot." I guess a riot broke out after the show went off air.

Final Analysis: This was a nice way to start the show, with a solid promo by Taker putting over the fact that even Shawn Michaels couldn't beat him at WrestleMania. However, I don't understand why they don't mention Undertaker's victory over Triple H at WrestleMania 17. That's a lot more relevant to this feud. I guess you just develop a selective memory after too much time in a vegetative state.


Segment Two: Randy Orton d. David Otunga

-We go backstage and David Otunga is punching Orton...with his wrists. It looks like Orton is getting assaulted by an 80-year-old grandma, not a professional wrestler.

-There was some unintentional comedy here. Somebody in the back must have told Otunga to look at the WrestleMania sign and he kept looking at it every three seconds. He must have gotten nauseous after spinning his head back and forth for two straight minutes.

Final Analysis: 1/4* This ended in two minutes after Orton hit an RKO from OUT OF NOWHERE and then punted Otunga all the way back to FCW post-match. Predictable, but it had to be done. McGillicutty & Harris should definitely stay in developmental for at least a year while Otunga should stay there for a couple years. They were all brought up way too early and this is the result.

As for Mason Ryan, he should remain as CM Punk's associate. The Nexus itself should disband as it has already run its course.


Segment Three: Christian d. Brodus Clay

-Brodus Clay replacing Del Rio for this match worked as Del Rio and Christian should work a longer match down the road, but I don't think Brodus should permanently become his bodyguard. No need to turn Del Rio into another chickensh*t heel who's scared of everybody. The way they're booking him now is perfect.

-Brodus Clay has a good look but he needs A LOT of work on his in ring work.

-Del Rio beats Christian down post-match but Edge doesn't come out to save him. This could lead to a heel turn from Christian down the road, as he's there for Edge every time while Edge is not there for him.

-They showed a preview of "Tough Enough," which is set to debut the night after WrestleMania. It looks good. I'll try to catch it.

Final Analysis: * I'm interested in seeing what Christian's role in this turns out to be. Will he assist Edge at WrestleMania or will he turn on him? Or will he just be fed to Del Rio to make him look stronger heading into Mania?

One thing that everyone has been asking is whether or not Christian should be added to the world title match at WrestleMania. My answer to that is no. Del Rio won his title shot; Christian can't just be added for no reason. The whole Edge & Christian thing would just overshadow Del Rio's win and he'd be an afterthought, just like The Miz is between The Rock and John Cena. Make it a triple threat at Extreme Rules if it's necessary.


Segment Four: Eve d. Nikki Bella (Diva's Championship Match)

-Matthews and Cole were hilarious on commentary here as they were ignoring each other with Cole talking about his announcement and Matthews actually calling the match.

-Ha, Cole interrupting this match and standing on the table was fantastic. I'm really starting to like heel Cole. There, I said it.

Final Analysis: 1/2* This was the typical three-minute divas match although the attention was on Cole and not on the match. What I don't understand is why WWE went through all of that with The Bellas and Daniel Bryan if The Bellas aren't going to win the title. I mean, what did they accomplish other than the fact that they made Daniel Bryan look like a joke?


Segment Five: Michael Cole/JBL/Steve Austin Segment

-This segment reminded me of how much I miss JBL's promo work. WWE needs more strong characters like him.

-Steve Austin spilling beer on Cole's head was fantastic.

-I wonder if this is how Steve Austin would have acted in court.

-Has Austin ever missed a beer?

Final Analysis: This was a great promo for some nostalgia and I was marking out for the whole thing. The Cole-Lawler match has become that much more interesting. The match itself obviously won't be very good but the segments building up to it should be great. Oh, and backstage Jack Swagger said that he'll take care of Austin. Hopefully, that means that we'll see him a couple more times before Mania.


Segment Six: Daniel Bryan d. Sheamus via count-out

-That has got to be the fastest 10-count in history.

Final Analysis: DUD This lasted what, 50 seconds? Post-match, they agreed to a match next week where if Sheamus wins, he becomes U.S. champion but if he loses, he quits. I'm guessing that it ends in a double count-out/DQ and this leads to a match at Mania. Not sure though.


Segment Seven: CM Punk d. R-Truth

-Good to see Truth back even though he's still wrestling with a minor injury. I'm not sure if the thing with Ryan was done to make Ryan look stronger or to write Truth out of story lines.

-It's pretty much a lock that Ryan will be in Punk's corner at WrestleMania now.

-I'm really liking these video packages with Shawn Michaels talking about Undertaker & Triple H. It really adds to the build-up of their match.

Final Analysis: 3/4* This was another three-minute special so there's not much to note.


Segment Eight: Dolph Ziggler d. John Morrison

-AAHH! Vickie Guerrero, an unemployed fan, is invading the arena! How did she get past security? Why isn't security trying to stop her?

Final Analysis: * Ziggler vs. Morrison is a great match on paper. However, this only got two minutes and was squeezed on the show for the sake of being squeezed on the show. The rumored match for Mania right now is Dolph Ziggler and Laycool vs. John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Kelly Kelly. You know what they should do, though? Give the divas a separate match and then give Morrison & Ziggler their own 15-20 minute match. Let them show their athletic gifts. It's better than some random tag match that means nothing. Is it really that hard?


Segment Nine: John Cena-Miz Segment

-Cena's rap this week wasn't as good as the last one, but the bit with the "I Bring It Via Satellite" shirt was great.

-I read that during Miz's promo, a fan ran into the ring so they cut to the camera that zoomed in on his face. I guess the fan really did start rioting because of DiBiase.

Final Analysis: Well done segment. They did a good job of making Miz look strong and there is a bit more focus on him now. Now, the key is to have Rock trash talk about him because if Rock acknowledges him more than he did in the past then that elevates The Miz. They have to book him strong going forward.


Three Stars of the Show

1. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin - I haven't marked out like that in a while.

2. The Miz - I'm not sure if they'll book him strong when he is on the same show as The Rock, but this worked.

3. JBL - I miss his promos.


Worst Moment of the Week

David Otunga punching Orton with his wrists. It's impossible to get into his matches when he can't do a proper punch.


Closing Thoughts

Overall, this RAW gets a 6/10 from me. It was another promo heavy show but the promos were enjoyable this time with fantastic promos from Steve Austin and The Miz. The one thing that really bugs me is the lack of quality matches but I don't think we'll be seeing any long matches until April. They seem to be trying to squeeze as much as they can into every show.

One more thing. Where the hell was Mark Henry? If I don't get my weekly dose of Kool-Aid next week, I riot. Speaking of which, I wonder how the DiBiase riot turned out.

I will be right back here this Friday with my weekly review of SmackDown entitled "Smack Talk" but until then, I am out.

Eric Kanes on YouTube - http://youtube.com/ProWrestlingFanpage


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