Smack Talk for 3/4/11
by Eric Kanes
What's up, ladies and gentlemen? My name is Eric Kanes and you are reading "Smack Talk", the review of the show where everybody gets fired.
It is a day late but that's only because I spent last night recovering from celebrating and dancing in the street all day after TNA's "shocking surprise." OK, maybe not. But it's better late than never.
Taped from Cleveland, Ohio, let's talk some smack.
The show starts off with Edge coming out to announce the contract signing between him and Del Rio later on in the night. He then talks about Del Rio attacking him last week and about Vickie Guerrero getting fired.
He starts singing the "na na na hey hey hey goodbye" song only for Drew McIntyre to run out and attack him. Edge throws McIntyre out of the ring and out comes Teddy Long, thanking McIntyre for getting Vickie fired last week.
He says that if McIntyre doesn't get in the ring to face Edge, he will be fired, too. Oh, god no! That would have been the sixth firing in five weeks. Edge starts a "Thank you, Drew" chant to end the segment.
Edge d. Drew McIntyre (*1/4)
This was a quick six-minute match with not much happening but this actually turned out to be the best match of the night, since it was a promo-heavy show. McIntyre worked on Edge's injured arm but Edge hit the spear out of nowhere five minutes in.
Edge then covered Drew but stopped the referee's count at 2, and locked in the Edgucator, forcing Drew to tap out.
Rey Mysterio's music hits causing the crowd to go crazy but it's Cody Rhodes, wearing Rey Mysterio's mask from last week.
Cody yells at everybody to not look at him. If you don't want people to look at you, coming out in the middle of a 10,000 person arena might not be the best idea. Just a thought.
Cody describes his attack on Rey last week and says that he only did a fraction of the damage that Rey did to him. He then challenges Rey to a match at WrestleMania and vows to expose his face in front of everybody.
As always, a fantastic promo by Cody. You can see that his nose is fine, but he did a good job of making it seem like a huge deal.
All in all, I'm glad that he's getting to work a major WrestleMania program and hopefully this leads to a nice 15- to 20-minute match.
Kane is standing backstage as he gets surrounded by The Corre and all four members speak to him. They remind Kane that they helped him take out The Undertaker, and all they want in return is for Kane to take out Big Show. Three notes here:
- The Corre should just leave Barrett as the spokesperson. The other three guys can't talk to save their lives although it's kind of funny, listening to all of them talk because they have three of the most annoying accents.
- It's good to know that Barrett still remembers that he took out The Undertaker. Too bad that Undertaker doesn't remember. Time heals all wounds, I guess. Or maybe he just spent too much time in a vegetative state.
- Since Heath Slater is a rock band, he should perform a duet with Justin Bieber for the national anthem at WrestleMania. Let's see them rock out!
WWE Tag Team Championship Match - Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel d. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov (*)
How many times have we seen this match on SmackDown now? The SmackDown writers sure love to do things over and over until everyone is sick of them. This match followed the same formula as all of the other ones.
I love the part two minutes in where one of The Corre members runs into the ring and then Kozlov chases them out. You'd think they'd be smart enough to know not to come in by now.
Anyway, Santino was setting up for the Cobra but Barrett got on the apron so Santino got him. Slater then hit his finisher from behind and picked up the win for his team.
If you missed this match, don't worry. We'll probably get to see it a dozen more times leading up to WrestleMania.
Alberto Del Rio was backstage with Ricardo Rodriguez, who was warming up his voice, and a random dude who was painting a picture of him.
After we got to see Triple H's verbal burial of the entire WWE roster in its entirety, The Undertaker came out to the "Ain't No Grave" song by Johnny Cash which actually sounds a lot better than the funeral theme that he's had for the past several years. Hopefully, this is his permanent theme.
Mark McCool says that he finds it hard to believe that even the greatest of the greats can’t leave well enough alone even though there are some mountains that cannot be climbed and some streaks that can’t be broken.
Taker says that Triple H has been the greatest world champion of the past 15 years and that he and Triple H are a dying breed.
However, he says that all Triple H will become is a name on a list after he proves that he is indeed the last outlaw.
Actually, with Triple H set to retire from in ring action soon and Undertaker's injuries piling up, it looks like Mark Henry will be the last outlaw. Go Kool-Aid!
This promo was the usual Undertaker promo ending with the classic "Rest In Peace" to end it. Nothing special worth noting.
Layla & Michelle McCool d. Rosa Mendes & Beth Phoenix (1/2*)
This was a quick match and the LayCool break-up continued being teased as there was a moment where Michelle shoved Layla after Layla accidentally bumped into her.
The match ended with Michelle McCool hitting her signature kick on Beth Phoenix, allowing Layla to get the cover and the win.
Big Show d. Kane via DQ (DUD)
This lasted a grand total of 45 seconds as The Corre came down to the ring after Big Show & Kane hit a double clothesline. Barrett handed Kane a chair and he used it to nail Show, getting him disqualified.
He then nailed Justin Gabriel in the back causing The Corre to retreat.
The rumored match for Mania is The Corre vs. Kane, Big Show, Christian and Kofi Kingston, which is fine as long as Corre gets the win, although I don't know why Christian & Kingston are involved.
Back from commercials, and Michael Cole is in the ring with his trainer, Jack Swagger. He says that he doesn't know what Shawn Michaels was talking about (in his video package regarding the Triple H/Undertaker match) because Cole vs. Lawler will be the WrestleMania main event.
He then goes on to hype this Monday announcing that the referee for his match will be announced and that the referee is flamboyant, simply awesome, and one of the all-time greats in WWE.
Jack Swagger d. JTG (SQUASH)
This was a squash match and Michael Cole was going crazy on commentary, saying that he is going to hit the running splash on Lawler at WrestleMania. He was standing up and yelling as Matthews covered his eyes. Ha, that was pretty funny.
The match ended with JTG tapping out to the ankle lock. After the match, Cole came into the ring and did the airplane strut with Swagger.
I don't know why, but Cole was hilarious tonight. They need to do some backstage training segments with Swagger.
The dude that painted a picture of Del Rio was walking backstage until Edge stopped him and drew a mustache on Del Rio's face. He then kicked the painter in the ass, knocking him down.
It's kind of funny how the top faces act like savages backstage. Cena turns people's phones off and throws them in food while Edge just knocks people out.
Alberto Del Rio is out first for the contract signing and he has Ricardo Rodriguez sing the Mexican national anthem. Edge interrupts him and has a stare down with Del Rio as Teddy Long asks them to not end this contract signing in chaos.
At this point, the crowd started a "USA" chant. Who were they cheering for? Neither of the wrestlers are from the USA. I guess they were cheering for Teddy Long.
Edge tells Del Rio that he does not know what it's like to fight at WrestleMania while Edge is an 11-time world champion. He then says that while he likes to talk about destiny, destiny can change in the blink of an eye.
Del Rio tells Edge that this is the beginning of the end of his reign and signs the contract. Edge signs the contract and it is official. He then lets Teddy Long know that this signing will indeed end in chaos as he attacks Del Rio and hits the DDT on him.
He then sets up for the spear but Ricardo Rodriguez steps in allowing Del Rio to get the advantage. Del Rio locks in the cross arm breaker and then tosses Edge out of the ring.
He then puts Edge's arm into a steel chair only for Christian to run out and make the save. Christian beats down Del Rio and helps Edge up to end the show.
Three Stars of the Show
1. "Dashing" Cody Rhodes - On a promo-heavy show, he cut the only good promo so he gets the nod.
2. Christian - Good to see him back.
3. Teddy Long - USA! USA! USA!
Worst Moment of the Week
Santino & Kozlov vs. Slater & Gabriel. This wasn't horrible, but we've seen it way too many times now.
Nothing was outrageously bad on this show but nothing was that good, either. It was just average and for that reason it gets a 5/10.
On the bright side, though, it looks like Christian and Edge will be working together, as they teamed up and brought back the pose after the show.
However, don't rule out the fact that they might just feed Christian to Del Rio to give him momentum going into WrestleMania.
I think that Christian will be more involved in the program, but don't get too excited just yet.
As always, the RAW Review will be up this Tuesday at around 10 p.m. Eastern but until then, I am out.
Eric Kanes on YouTube - http://youtube.com/ProWrestlingFanpage
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