Depends on Ford

Douglas BrightContributor ISeptember 27, 2008

I know.  That's a visual you didn't need.  Oh! You thought I meant that the future depends on decisions from WC Ford.  No, no, no, I was referring to his choice in adult undergarments. 

You see, WC Ford has had over half of his rather long life to show that he could make somewhat competent decisions about his Detroit Lions. Its safe to say that his competency as an owner, or lack thereof, has been firmly established, as has his legacy.  Change is not imminent.  He will learn his lessons and do the right things at the same time Donald Trump learns humility and Paris Hilton becomes discrete. In other words, . . . well, you know.  Ain't gonna happen. 

WC Ford wearing his Depends is actually the only indicator of possible glimmers of hope.  Depends symbolize one thing--he is old.  He will at some point go the way of the dinosaurs, many of whom he personally was arrogant to.  Then--and only then--will the Lions have any chance of becoming a good team or well-run franchise. 

Please don't misunderstand--I am not praying or wishing for his death or advocating it be hastened.  I am simply recognizing the fact that Ford is not going to change, and he will remain an obstacle to progress for this team until he is no longer on this plane.  

Sad to say, Ford's mortality, and the fact that his half-century of incredibly bad ownership may have a terminus, is not really bad news for fans of the Honolulu Blue and Silver.  Indianapolis (and Baltimore before them) experienced the first Irsay, with Ford-like results.  After his demise the team became a perenial power.  Lion fans can hope, not for Ford's passing, but for similar results once he does pass.

WC Ford has a history of producing laughingstocks, but this comedic by-product should not be confused with another WC--WC Fields.  Having a football team for 50 years, and having "funny-bad" be the most positive descriptor of that time, is not a source of humor for suffering Lions fans. 

But one of WC Fields more famous lines does have some relevance to Ford and the Lions.  Once asked in a film about his wife, he said, "We buried her last year.  We had to.  She died."  The Lions have been buried and dead for a half century.  It is regrettable that their resurrection will come only when Mr. Ford, bless his soul, has gone to his reward.