Jeff Garcia Looks Forward to Bye Week of Heterosexual Sex with Hot Wife (Satire)

William  Berry by Columnist Written on September 27, 2008
Carmella_decesare_2007_feature

Jeff Garcia reiterated his heterosexuality today.

"My wife, Carmella DeCesare is so amazingly hot she was a playmate of the year in 2004.  It's that darn T.O.  He is such a bitch."

After his sexuality was questioned, he went further and said, "Just look at her.  Go ahead, google her.  Well, I mean google yourself while looking at images of her.  Not like you perverts haven't done that already.  Playboy's Playmate Review Vol. 20 August 2004—cover, pages 1, 3, 28-39: Playboy's Playmates in Bed December 2004—pages 52-55: Playboy's Nude Playmates March 2005—pages 26-31: Playboy's Playmates in Bed July 2005—pages 30-35.  Not that I'm keeping track."

"Yes, we've had sex and stuff," he said, "Or should I say I had sex with her.  I had sex with a woman you can only fantasize about."

Regarding the rumors about the possibility of him going to New England to replace Matt Cassel, Garcia said, "Oh, that would be darling.  I'd love to be a Patriot, although I take more than a minute, man.  Did I tell you my wife is real hot?"

About the Tampa Bay QB situation, Garcia predicted he would be back under center by week 11, Nov. 16.

When asked if following the bye week was significant, he said, "Of course, silly, you know I'm looking forward to 'bye' week.  Oh, make sure you spell that right!  I know how your mind works.  You guys are so naughty."

For the incredibly gullible. This is in satire because I made up the quotes.  (Gee, if we ever find that Lilliput in Gulliver's travels...)

 

Gratuitous pictures of the incredibly hott Mrs. Garcia.

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written on September 27, 2008 Humor

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