GQ Magazine: WWE Edition
Happy Tuesday Bleachers!
Today I bring you a slideshow dedicated to the men of the WWE.
I noticed that there are only slideshows dedicated to the Divas and not the men, so hopefully with your approval I can give the ladies something they can drool over.
1. Randy Orton
I took a mini survery before I decided to make an article and the name that kept coming up was the Viper himself, Randy Orton.
Now if you don't like this picture, I encourage you to check the next slide.
1-A. Randy Orton
Oh, oh. Not good enough?
Okay. Keep going then.
1-B. Randy Orton
I hope I'm not the only one that was thinking, damn the towel!
Okay, okay. Let me gather myself. You should too because there are plenty more to go.
But ugh, one more wouldn't hurt, would it?
1-C. Randy Orton
I almost fainted out of my chair.
Really, Randy? Really!? I have studying to do tonight.
But unfortunately ladies, we must move on.
Christian. Christian. Christian. Mr. Reso.
I really couldn't find any jaw-dropping pictures of Captain Charisma, but that does not mean that he doesn't belong on this list, WHATSOEVER.
In this picture, he proves to his female Peeps that he is definitely Canadian's Finest.
That body!? Lord.
3. Jeff Hardy
Jeff Hardy. The Charismatic Enigma. The Anti-Christ of Wrestling.
Whatever you decide to call him, God definitely took his time creating this specimen.
Oh yes ladies, there's more.
3-A. Jeff Hardy
I have never loved a frown so much in my life.
Okay, just one more.
3-B. Jeff Hardy
Okay, maybe I have never loved the side view of someone's face so much more than a frown.
Eh, what the heck. I'll give you another.
3-C. Jeff Hardy
Black painted nails (or nowadays purple painted nails), face paint, multi-colored hair, long hair, short hair—it does not even matter what Jeff Hardy is wearing.
He is gorgeous.
...I don't even know why I torture myself.
4. Chris Jericho
You're living under a rock if you can't realize the attractiveness of Mr. Chris "Don't Call Me Y2J" Jericho.
In 2007 when he returned with a shorter haircut, I was in love.
And just because of this man's sexiness, I shall give you another.
4-A. Chris Jericho
Black and white never looked SO good.
And yes, he is the best at what he does.
5. Triple H
Triple H. The Cerebral Assassin. He is The Game.
And I don't know of too many females that do not want to play.
5-A. Triple H
Stephanie, you are ONE lucky woman.
6. Stone Cold Steve Austin
I don't know about you, but I was 2.5 seconds away from getting bit by the Texas Rattlesnack.
I always had a thing for Austin's legs. Please don't judge me.
His walk just did something for me.
But that's another story entirely.
6-A. Stone Cold Steve Austin
...Texas, here I come.
7. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
He is definitely the most electrifying man in sports entertainment.
I know he wants you to smell what The Rock is cookin' but can you see what he's packin' !?
And with that said ...
7-A. The Rock
I can't even focus.
7-B. The Rock
That is exactly how I feel when I look at this picture.
It makes no sense how good The Rock looks.
8. Shawn "HBK" Michaels
Shawn Michaels (in his prime) is the proof that God really does answer prayers.
Ladies asked for the perfect man, and he gave us the Heartbreak Kid.
And yes people, he did break a lot of women's hearts.
Not convinced? Okay. Continue to the next slide.
8-A. Shawn Michaels
Hairy chests were never so sexy.
Oh, I know you want some more.
8-B. Shawn Michaels
You might want to get a towel and wipe that drool up off your keyboard ladies.
And for the grand finale...!
8-C. Shawn Michaels
Such a tease.
Dave Batista may have left the WWE unimpressed about where the business was heading, but I don't think he really left the mind of each and every female audience member.
Don't you love a man in a suit?
10. CM Punk
The Straight Edge Savior. The Straight Edge Sex Symbol of 2011.
Raw's top heel has been with countless women throughout the WWE, and I'm pretty sure it has a lot more to do with his perfect promos.
Get my drift?
10-A. CM Punk
You know they say a picture is worth a thousand words, right?
Well the sexiness of CM Punk speaks volumes!
Especially with the haircut.
11. Drew McIntyre
The Chosen One. Smackdown's Scottsman.
I've been a fan of McIntyre's since his debut and I'm not telling you, it's not only because of his in-ring ability.
The accent, maybe?
Who knows? But I'll tell you one thing ..
11-A. Drew McIntyre
McIntyre is The Chosen One.
Pun very much intended.
12. Justin Gabriel
The South African Gem.
Beard or no beard, J. Gab is slowly growing on the female hearts of the WWE Universe (whether they'll admit it or not).
12-A. Justin Gabriel
Kelly Kelly has good taste.
Don't you think?
13. Ted DiBiase, Jr.
Currently being overshadowed by the beautiful Maryse and his unnoticeable losing streak on Raw, we cannot forget, nor ignore, the sex appeal of the Fortunate son.
If only he could add some wins and possibly a belt in the future, he would be the complete package.
14. John Morrison
The Shaman of Sexy. Spiderman of Monday Night Raw.
Although men will joke and say that he looks like a girl, the women do not care.
He can move in the ring, you can wash clothes on his abs and run your fingers through his hair.
What more can you ask for?
14-A. John Morrison
Okay yeah, this is what more you can ask for.
Melina, you are another lucky woman.
15. John Cena
Um, I added John Cena for the sake of the CeNation out there.
(I can't believe I even wrote that.)
I personally don't find him too attractive, maybe because I don't pay him much mind, but he's no Snitsky.
15-A. John Cena
And here's a more formal John Cena.
I'll admit its a pretty nice picture.
Honorable Mention: Andrew "Test" Martin
Test was a talent that wasn't used to his potential and passed away at a young age.
I always thought he had it all: the looks, the body and in ring moveset.
Had his storyline with Stephanie McMahon never dropped, his career could have possibly skyrocketed, but we'll never know.
He had storylines and feuds with Trish Stratus, Albert, Stacy Keibler, The Rock and Scott Steiner but none of those really put him in the spotlight (where I felt he should have been).
He was truly gone too soon. RIP Andrew Martin.