Fernando Torres: What Is He Thinking? (New Interactive EPL Game)

William Gish@wgishAnalyst IFebruary 27, 2011

Fernando Torres: What Is He Thinking? (New Interactive EPL Game)

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    Welcome to the inaugural installment of an interactive experiment!

    During the course of this slide show, you will be presented with a series of photographs of an athlete—this week, Fernando Torres. Next week, who knows?

    You will also be presented with four options for each photo and asked to choose (via the comments section below) what he's thinking in each one.

    For instance, if in the first slide you think Torres is thinking option A, simply write "1. A" below.

    Let the games begin...


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    A) Oh god my face!

    B) What did the five fingers say to the face?

    C) I wilt in your tender embrace.

    D) This misshapen knave—his mother was a witch...

Crane Kick!

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    A) I wear Degree when things get hot.

    B) Daniel-san...

    C) Triple salchow followed by a quick hop.

    D) Strike directly at the heart of his manhood...

Propaganda Torres

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    A) Big Brother is watching you.

    B) Hail, Satan.

    C) Try Crest Whitening Strips.

    D) Contact your local recruitment office for details.

A Moment of Silent Contemplation

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    A) If I subtract our goals from theirs...crap, we lose.

    B) He loves me, he loves me not.

    C) I knew I shouldn't have used water-based ink. What does that say? It's all runny... "Score goals against team in...uniform." Which uniform?! Uh-oh.

    D) If I break one more nail this week...

Sinister Torres

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    A) I'll get you, my pretty...

    B) Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be none.

    C) My precious...

    D) All universal moral principles are idle fancies.

Face Shot

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    A) It hurts so good.

    B) All pain is a punishment, and every punishment is inflicted for love as much as for justice.

    C) Must...draw...foul...

    D) How quickly leaves fall from the tree of fortune.