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I can't figure out why, but for some reason David Garrard makes me angry. His inflated sense of accomplishment after the Steelers game drove me batty. At first, I thought it was the David Letterman gap in his front teeth that bothered me...

The NFL Picks Column: Divisional Round Edition

by Sean Crowe (Senior Writer)

11

1005 reads

Sports

January 09, 2008


I can't figure out why, but for some reason David Garrard makes me angry. 

His inflated sense of accomplishment after the Steelers game drove me batty.

At first, I thought it was the David Letterman gap in his front teeth that bothered me. 

But then I was reminded that I've always loved Michael Strahan.  So that can’t be it.

Whatever the reason, the guy makes me crazy.  And he’s not the only one.

There are certain sports figures that aggravate me to no end when they win.  So much so that it's been known to drive me into loud, uncontrollable, and sometimes violent outbursts.

I understand that I need some serious counseling.  Unfortunately, we keep electing jackasses to the White House who give too much power to the HMOs. 

And sports-related fits of rage aren’t covered by my HMO.

For the record, the following players are on my list...


David Garrard

I'm still unsure of the reason.  Maybe it’s his uncanny resemblance to Bubba from Forrest Gump?


Philip Rivers

Rivers makes me more angry than any other NFL player when his team is winning. He's the weak link in an otherwise tremendous offense—and when he wins, he acts like he's Dan Marino. 


Wade Phillips

He just looks stupid.


Either Gramatica brother

For obvious reasons.


That NFL official with the huge arms

Probably just jealousy.


Jessica Simpson

I watched your stupid MTV show...I know you hate football.  Stop pretending like you understand what you're watching.  Can't wait for Romo to pull a Brady and dump your ass for a hotter supermodel.


Nothing makes me happier than watching any of those people fail.

With that in mind, this is going to be a fantastic weekend!



Saturday, 1/12 4:30 ET: Green Bay (-8) vs. Seattle

East coast bias or no east coast bias, the Seahawks remain generally unimpressive.  They were able to survive against the Redskins last week, which is more than I expected out of them. 

I applaud them for this, but I'm still not impressed.

If they defeat the Green Bay Packers this weekend, then maybe I'll become a believer.

For the Seahawks to win, they'll have to take advantage of the Packers' safeties.  Both can be abused, and Hasselbeck is good enough (on most nights) to do it.

Woodson and Harris can both take almost any NFL receiver out of a game, so the Seahawks' depth at wide receiver is crucial.

Getting Branch back will be huge.

It would also help if they could run the ball.  Unfortunately, they can't.  Especially against Green Bay's defense.

And let's not overlook the fact that the Seahawks can't win outside Seattle.

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11 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Zander Freund about 1 year ago

    Hahaha—nice Sean. David Garrard does kind of resemble Bubba, huh? (though for the record, I sort of liked Bubba...what do you have against him?)

    I have predicted the very same exact outcomes as you, coincidentally enough (in terms of winners, not spreads). Though I actually could see Peyton/Favre throwing a couple of INTs and those games being close than expected.

    Sure is going to be an exciting weekend...thanks for the read Sean.

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    • Sean Crowe about 1 year ago

      I can't WAIT for this weekend. I'm bordering on having trouble sleeping.

      As for Bubba, I guess I'm not a big fan of shrimp? You know, cajun shrimp, fried shrimp, popcorn shrimp, stuffed shrimp, broiled shrimp, shrimp cocktail, shrimp marsala.....

      Though the spoof of Bubba in Best in Show was fantastic. Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut.

      Good stuff.

      Thanks for the compliments, glad you liked it!

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    • Zander Freund about 1 year ago

      LOL, frickin' love that movie!

      I too am itching with excitement...I can't remember the last time I was so pumped for the NFL playoffs.

      Brett Favre, at age 38, playing like a kid again and rolling past Seattle? The Giants upsetting the best team in the NFC and keeping the dream alive? The Pats scoring a record 80 points?

      Somebody is going to be glued to the coach, six pack in hand, screaming at the television starting at 1:30 California time this Saturday—all the while with a huge grin on his face.

      I'll give you a hint, his name rhymes with Salamander...

      BRING ON THE GAME!

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  2. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Cowboys are going to run away with that game, specifically because of Jason Witten.

    Eli Manning couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.....

    ... and therefore, the Giants will get smashed.

    That is all.

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    • Sean Crowe about 1 year ago

      Under normal circumstances, I would agree. Not sure these are normal circumstances.

      Also, Wade Phillips is still prominently involved.

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  3. Chris Radez about 1 year ago

    Nice column ... my predictions will be in by tomorrow morning.

    For the record ... shrimp is AWESOME!

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  4. Sebastian about 1 year ago

    "Right now, the Cowboys look like a slightly more talented version of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers...except Wade Phillips ain't no Jon Gruden."

    The Cowboys were not the hottest girls in the room in December. But I think the reduction of the team to slightly better than Tampa is a slightly hyperbolic. I don't think a team (NYG) can change overnight (post-Patriots game, rah, energy!). I think we know what both teams can bring to the table, and using what we have from the season, I think Dallas wins. Not a blowout. Probably not pretty (that first quarter is likely to be rough). But a win nonetheless.

    "3) Their starting QB is spending too much time banging busty blondes in Mexico when he should be watching film or getting treatment for his thumb. Or at least pretending to care about the next week’s game."

    The media loves the Cowboys, loves quarterbacks, and loves celebrities. Any combination is going to sell sell sell-- like hotcakes!--, so I'm not surprised that the Romo-Simpson trip to Mexico is getting attention. But at this point, the entire media-generated saga has been overplayed and beaten into the ground. And whenever Romo does stay late at practice to watch film, it gets attention as though it's some Wade-inspired punishment.

    Let's not forget that Bobby Carpenter and Marco Rivera were also in Mexico. Carpenter, who would otherwise be drinking alone in his room, and Rivera, who is no longer on the team. I'm sure this was akin to the college kid who pulls by his high school to buy the kids beer.

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    • Sean Crowe about 1 year ago

      On the Tampa comparison, I meant that they're injured and playing poorly more than a comparison of talent. Completely understood that they're a much better team on paper than the Bucs.

      Point on Romo is that it's an extremely bad decision. He needs to be smarter than that.

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  5. Paul Gotham about 1 year ago

    G-Men D-Line might have the advantage on the Dallas O-line. That being said, no predictions from me...I stink at them and tend to jinx my team.

    Agreed with our left-coast friend - great weekend of NFL football ahead.

    I liked Bubba too. Think I welled up when he was killed.

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  6. Jeff Galloway about 1 year ago

    nice call with the NYG upset...but ouch on the SD-Indy game. I think Chargers suprised alot of people today

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