Okay, Steelers fans.  It’s been over a week since the Super Bowl.  Yeah, you’re depressed about the three turnovers, the missed opportunities and that bugled final drive.  You’re even more bummed when you realize that, thanks to the ominous NFL labor situation, it may be a long time before we see the Steelers play another game.

But fear not, football junkies, because the sport is coming back to Pittsburgh in only a few weeks.  Sure, it’s indoors, peculiar and a truncated version of the football we watch every fall weekend.  But it’s also cheap, entertaining and the team will be wearing black and gold.  For those of you who are still teary-eyed over the outcome of Super Bowl XLV, I present the Depressed Steelers Fan’s Guide to the Pittsburgh Power.  Without further adieu…

What Are (Is?) the Pittsburgh Power?

The Pittsburgh Power is (are?) a football team in the Arena Football League (AFL).  They will debut on Friday, March 11 at the Consol Energy Center.  They will be rocking some black and gold uniforms, and former Steeler Lynn Swann will be in the owner’s box, possibly in Mario Lemeiux’s normal spot.  The team has an 18-game schedule, playing mostly on Friday and Saturday nights.  For the half-dozen or so people who have access to the NFL Network, you may be able to catch them on TV a few times.

The Power’s first opponent is the soon-to-be rival Philadelphia Soul.  Sure, it doesn’t have the same ring to it as Pens-Flyers, but these guys are from Philly, therefore we must do everything in our power to dislike them.  Power-Soul, anyone?

What Is the Arena League Like?  Are the Rules Different?

Arena League Football is drastically different from traditional American football.  The field is half the size and there are only eight players per team on the field.  Defense is mostly optional, and the running game is mostly an afterthought.    

Many of the rules seem like they are right out of a video game.  Punting is forbidden.  Drop-kick field goals are worth four points.  The clock stops in the final minute if you fail to advance the ball past the line of scrimmage, thereby preventing any sissies from “taking a knee.” 

The strangest thing about the game is the field:  It’s only 50 yards long.  The 25-yard line serves as the middle of the field and the reference point for the best box seats. 

It’s similar to indoor soccer in that the field is shortened and there are fewer players.  Many of the guys play on both offense and defense.  Only four players are allowed on the line of scrimmage on offense, three on defense.  Most importantly for entertainment purposes, the boards are in play.  And someone getting smashed into and/or over the boards never really gets old.

The definitive rule might be something called the “high motion man,” a receiver who can go in motion vertically, thereby starting his route before the play begins (similar to Canadian football).  He is usually seen looping far behind his teammates and, ideally, he will be running full speed ahead at the instant the ball is snapped.  Strangely, he’s almost never open.

The high school star returns to Pittsburgh - probably not as he envisioned.

Who is going to be playing for the Power? Any big names?

The AFL’s rosters are pretty much set, and the Power have a few players who could (barely) qualify as a “big name.”

The most familiar player is likely Anthony Morelli, the former Penn State quarterback who grew up in Pittsburgh and was a star at Penn Hills High School.  Morelli played at PSU from 2004 to 2008 and appeared in one preseason with the Arizona Cardinals before being cut at the end of camp.  He hasn’t played professionally since.  His career may have peaked in high school, when he was on the cover of USA Today.  He’s like the second coming of Tyler Palko.

Paul Edinger, the corkscrew-style Michigan State kicker who played five seasons with the Chicago Bears but hasn’t kicked in the NFL since 2005, is the only other Power player who any casual fans could possibly know.

What about the rest of the league?

The AFL is peppered with former college standouts, washed-up or washed-out NFL players and guys who just can’t give up football, even if they are playing in Spokane or Tulsa for around $500 a game.

Former Heisman Trophy finalist and Big Ten MVP Brad Banks is slated at quarterback for the Iowa Barnstormers (the team that Kurt Warner played for in the mid-90s).  Wideout Terrell Hudgins, who broke many of Jerry Rice’s I-FCS records and was in camp with the Cowboys last season, will be catching balls for the Chicago Rush.  Former Florida State quarterback Drew Weatherford is currently a backup on the Tampa Bay Storm.

Omar Jacobs was a fifth round pick of the Steelers in 2006.

Other notable—and I use that word loosely—AFL players include Garrett Rivas (Michigan’s all-time leading scorer), Ryan Vena (10-year AFL vet and former three-time Patriot League MVP), Omar Jacobs (former Bowling Green standout who still holds the I-FBS record for touchdown-to-interception ratio, with a startling 10.25-1 in 2004) and Aaron Garcia (a 40-year old, 15-year AFL vet who might be the Jeff Garcia of arena ball, although they aren’t related).

Who has better players, the AFL or the five-team UFL (United Football League)?

The UFL, which debuted last season, follows mainly the standard rules of football and seems to have more NFL fringe players.  Daunte Culpepper, Ahmad Green and Jeff Garcia were once fantasy football studs and Pro Bowlers in the NFL, but now reside comfortably in the UFL.  Other big names include Josh McCown, Tim Rattay, D.J. Shockley (Garcia’s backup), Maurice Clarett (?!?!), Cato June, Marcel Shipp, Jermaine Wiggins and Jeb Putzier.

The AFL simply can’t match that kind of star power.  And I use that term loosely.

Check back tomorrow for Part 2.