Opening arguments were heard today in a case that could literally change the face of international football.Barcelona striker Thierry Henry, known throughout the world both for his antiracism "Stand Up, Speak Up" campaign and his amazing goal-scoring record for London’s Arsenal FC, has brought a civil suit before the World Court.
Henry and his lawyers claim that his "patented" goal scoring celebration—Henry's bored, scowling, 20-yard stare—has been stolen by his Arsenal replacement, Eduardo da Silva, thereby violating an implied trademark.
In one of the shortest opening arguments on record, Michel Reinhart, the primary lawyer for the plaintiff, said that, “Eduardo da Silva’s sullen expression will speak for itself.”
Da Silva’s defense countered with claim that Thierry Henry “does not and cannot hold copyright on a lack of expressiveness.”
The mess seems to have started after M. Henry tuned into Arsenal’s Carling Cup victory over Blackburn Rovers. A close friend of the Barcelona striker who watched the match with him reported that Henry “glared at the television the way he used to glare at Hleb for his sloppy passes.”
Da Silva, known simply as “Eduardo” to Arsenal fans, scored two goals against Blackburn, catapulting the young Gunners into the semifinals against North London rivals Tottenham Hotspur.
His celebrations for both goals were of the decidedly minimalist variety—as have been his celebrations for every goal he has scored for the Gunners this season.
“I can only remember Thierry Henry showing such obvious dissatisfaction after scoring a goal,” ruminated David Pleat after Da Silva scored notched his second tally. “Perhaps Eduardo is feeling ill.”
Neither Henry nor Eduardo were present in court for the opening arguments of their case, but Nicolas Anelka was seen skulking about after the arguments were finished.
When asked by reporters what he made of the case, Anelka simply replied, “No comment.”
However, the man known in London as “Le Sulk” is expected to follow the case closely, with an eye towards bringing his own case against the winner.
Unfortunately, Eduardo da Silva’s grunts on the subject were unintelligible, and Thierry Henry was unavailable for comment.
Geiko is also expected to pursue court proceedings against the Brazilian-born Croatian striker for impersonating their Neanderthal—assuming they don’t sign him to a long-term endorsement contract first.
comments (21) write a comment »
write a new comment
6 months ago
Henry is desparate, no one forced him out of arsenal and he wants to take it out on a youngman who will within 3 years break henry's record. He should just enjoy his pension in spain where he is a big big big flop
6 months ago
erm..its a joke mate..this is clearly not serious :P
6 months ago
Good to see a bit of humour on here, it's been mostly serious stuff so far!
6 months ago
its a sad attempt 2 be funnyi dont see the logic behind it
6 months ago
I think it's a great piece Brad. The whole bit about not being able to hold a "copyright on a lack of expressiveness" is quite funny.
6 months ago
Anelka would take the pair of them in a scowl-off any day lol
5 months ago
Nonsense case....There are lots of similar celebs around the leagues--so it's really not a big deal
Frank Lampard and Stevie G's goal celebs are almost same.
5 months ago
i think this was a poor way of getting attention, man:P
5 months ago
I wasn't seeking attention, Ahmed. I'm just a fan of humor, this idea occurred to me one night and I wrote it for kicks with the approval of the editors.
5 months ago
I worry about people's lack of wit/humour sometimes... Great piece of satire...
5 months ago
nice writing, good wit, Henry is a legend whatever happens in spain, Phineas, one of the top strikers in footballing history.
5 months ago
great piece of humour - don't worry about those too dim to see a joke when hits them in the head with a hammer
5 months ago
That was terrific...people are idiots...very witty...
5 months ago
Really good story Brad. It all appears pretty silly to me. People copy celebrations all the time. Mr Henry should take it as a compliment!!!!
5 months ago
i dnt fink henry shud ave left arsenal he is the best player in the entire world............. he is a legend n he is well fitt
5 months ago
i thought it was really funny. nice stuff mate!
5 months ago
this is incredible... also, i love the no-celebration.
4 months ago
I wish EDUARDO a heafty lawsuit to compensate for a lost career.
2 months ago
lol
2 months ago
Very amusing - well done, and a nice change!
2 months ago
is this suppose to be funny?
write a new comment