Meow Mix: The Detroit Lions Love Their Humble Pie.

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Meow Mix: The Detroit Lions Love Their Humble Pie.

Well, it’s happened again.  The Detroit Lions have been embarrassed by a bunch of cast-aways deemed not worthy to don the Honolulu blue and silver.  Of course, at this point not being “Lions worthy” is probably a compliment, coming from a franchise that seems to be perpetually reinventing new and ingenious ways to lose.

But Sunday’s loss at San Francisco seems particularly debilitating, not only in that we got blown out by a team that isn’t really THAT good, but also because it was at the hands of fan-favorite whipping boy Mike Martz, the guy who couldn’t buy a break in Detroit and whose schemes were blamed largely for not providing enough “balance” on offense.

Well we’re certainly “balanced” now.  We’ve “balanced” futility quite nicely.

Rather than beef up the running game, the Lions have decided it’s easier to down-grade the passing game.

Rather than beef up the pass defense, the Lions have decided it’s easier to down-grade their run defense.

Rather than beef up the desire.  The Lions have decided it’s easier to quit.

In fact, this may be the most “balanced” team I’ve ever seen, as they are consistently terrible in so many facets of the game.

It appears that kudos were indeed deserved by Martz during his tenure in Detroit for making the offense explosive without the benefit of a decent quarterback or offensive line.  It appears that Martz is indeed the offensive genius he was purported to be when in a temporary moment of insanity, he decided to give the Lions a try.

It also appears that the coach that should’ve been chased out of Detroit is Rod Marinelli, whose defense (his supposed specialty) is the worst in the league, and whose insistence on accountability apparently doesn’t extend to his son-in-law, who’s defensive schemes (emphasis on the “sieve”) have once-competent players running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

News flash Rod.  Never hire anyone you can’t fire, and nepotism has no place in the National Football League.

Though I guess with the Fords as a model, nepotistic incompetence and the Lions seem to go hand in hand.

And so as I watched former Lions backup J.T. O’Sullivan efficiently carve up the secondary, and Frank Gore run with abandon, I can only imagine that Martz was smiling a jubilant smile to himself, knowing that he had redeemed himself and the Lions are the ones who have once again shown themselves to be the charlatans.

Not that this is unexpected.

In 1995, I remember Rodney Pete and the Philadelphia Eagles carving up Detroit in a 58-37 playoff loss the year after Pete was chased out of Detroit.

Even more humiliating, I remember Joey Harrington, JOEY F’ING HARRINGTON, marching into Detroit in 2006 to hand the Lions another disappointing Thanksgiving Day loss.

I am accustomed to watching even below-average former Detroit players succeed elsewhere.

And so there comes a time when you need to put something you love out of its misery, and I submit that Detroit fans are not doing themselves any favors by showing up to Lions games every Sunday.  We need to organize a UAW-type strike and make sure that any scab that crosses the picket line gets something to think about when they do.  The Fords must sell the team and they won’t as long as it continues to make money.

Detroit will never be a winner with those idiots at the helm.

Matt Millen?  Merely a symptom of the disease.

Barring this, I suggest you tuck in your napkin and choke down another piece of humble pie.

It’s on the menu every year.

And mmmmmmm, doesn’t it taste good?

 

 

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