Here's some common football terms, simplified and with pictures to help you learn some of the wonderful game, that is football...
A round object that is hit, thrown, or kicked in games. If you still don't know what that is, I suggest you go back to Mars and do your research first.
When the ball crosses the goal line between the goalposts and below the crossbar for which a point is awarded. Although, a player crossing the line and hitting the net is not considered a goal.
If the player accidentally puts the ball in his own net, for example when passing to the goalie and missing because they used their head instead of their foot, it is a goal. Most fans don’t take it well, and there is a possibility that it could be one of your last few games for that team. Smart move, Riise.
When a defensive player keeps his body between an attacker and the defender's goal.
A line of two to six defending players pressed together shoulder-to-shoulder to protect their goal against a close free kick.
The player, positioned directly in front of the goal, who tries to prevent shots from getting into the net behind him. Also known to have superman like powers.
The act of competing or emulating. Sometimes taken more seriously than the game itself.
A move by a player meant to deceive an opposing player.
An offensive player cannot be ahead of the ball and involved in the attack unless there is a defender between him and the goalkeeper, which his team is attacking.
It is normal for some to not get a word of what was said, so a simplified version I found is "you can't hang out behind all the team's defenders, waiting for your teammates to boot it up to you."
The referee and two linesmen who work together to make sure the game is played according to the rules.
Every football player knows embarrassment. Even people not into football know what it is. On field embarrassment leads to boo's from the crowed and the need to hide your face and avert eyes from team mates, trophies, or camera men, while the opposition mocks.
Officially known as simulation, is the act of faking a foul or injury in soccer. Need to know more? Ask Rivaldo.
What is football without crazy? Crazy players, crazy fans, crazy referee's... I'll let the pictures do the talking
See you on the field ;)