Superbowl Cheerleaders Absence Forces Fantasy In The Stands

Joe TroncaleContributor IFebruary 4, 2011

Missing in Action
Missing in ActionRonald Martinez/Getty Images

There is a loser in the Superbowl.

Cheerleaders are missing.

What will the cameras cut to before the commercials?

Here is the only option open to the directors. There have to be enough cameras panning the stands to find that beautiful woman. You know the one I am talking about. She is sitting next to the guy  you are comparing yourself to.

"He must be rich, because he's got nothing else going for him."

"I could be there with her if I had the right connections."

"He's not even paying attention to her, no wonder he's a loser."

"She doesn't look interested in him or the game. I would certainly get her attention. At least I wouldn't let her sit there looking bored."

You fill in the blank.

Keep your eyes on the screen before the commercials. Don't spend too much time looking at the guy, however. You will be depressed no matter which team you are pulling for.