After tonight’s yawner of a game featuring Ohio State and two-loss Louisiana State, it is clearer than glass that something needs to be done about the Bowl Championship Series in college football.
There have been talks about instituting a Final Four for football, or some series of playoffs to determine the two most deserving collegiate teams to battle it out to claim the national title.
Football commissioners from every Division I conference in the United States are meeting in April to discuss this very matter, among other topics.
So, commissioners, before you decide on a groundbreaking, life-altering change for the sport of football, please make some careful considerations. You already stole the name of the sport from Europe’s “futbol.”
Please don’t steal the Sweet 16, Elite 8, and Final Four from the sport of basketball. And taking the “Frozen Four” from hockey is out of the question; not only is it unoriginal to steal the name, it doesn’t make any sense.
Football is a unique sport; a sport that fuels intense debates, a sport that causes middle-aged men of most households to pace the living room floor in anxiety, a sport that is the cause for celebration all over the nation come Super Bowl Sunday, and a sport that is governed by rules and regulations unlike any other (besides rugby, which you kinda stole from too).
Because it is arguably America’s favorite sport, football should have its own individual road to the national championship. And for once, the sport can claim its own originality in a notable category.
This is the chance to revolutionize the sport of football; to prove that a true American sport can, in fact, come up with an idea completely uninfluenced by another sport.
The argument of a four-week playoff schedule is a suitable substitution for the current situation of the BCS games to date. The season’s top 16 teams would face off in respective seeds, and would be eliminated until the final round would determine the year’s national champion.
This schedule could easily replace the month of bowl games, and, luckily enough, there are already numerous stadiums prepared for postseason football games.
However, nicknames of every round would simply have to be different from that of basketball if this idea was to take effect. I propose the following:
The Select Sixteen
Also worthy of consideration: savage, (because football players usually are) scholastic, (that’s why they are in college.. right?) or seasonal (playing one year doesn’t grant you an automatic bid for the next).
The Electric Eight
Also worthy of consideration: enlightened, (Buddhists would enjoy this one) epic, (football is always of epic proportions) or essential (life without football is no life at all).
The Favorite Four
Because even though the teams might not be your favorite, they are certainly someone else’s, and it’s an appropriate title for the finalists of America’s most loved sport.
Also worthy of consideration: fantastic (wait, is that one already taken?), famous (you can’t play without getting some sort of fame) fanatical (that includes us, the loyal supporters), fast (have to be to win), ferocious (refrain from Michael Vick jokes please), fiery (this bowl to be played in Sun Devil Stadium), or, the football four (simple, straightforward, and descriptive- not to mention boring).
If these don’t sound too enticing, don’t be alarmed. Many other sports do without cutesy nicknames. Most sports simply label their tournaments as a championship, regionals, semifinals, or for baseball and softball, the World Series.