Monday Night Football Makes Me Sick

russ autinCorrespondent ISeptember 18, 2008

I remember a time, in the not-so-distant past, when I loved Monday Night Football. Now, I cringe when I hear the theme song, knowing that I'm about to be bombarded with a bunch useless banter and overproduced hype. It's like a pack of used-car salesmen from hell trying to sell me a 1976 Pinto, you know, the ones with the exploding gas tanks.

As we huddle around the big screen, hoping to enjoy some football, the game is held hostage by flim-flam men intent on testing our capacity, endure endless commercial breaks, and announcers who wouldn't know a pass from a hole in the ground.

I remember when a kick or punt return was the most exciting play in football, but now it's just the meat of a commercial sandwich, maybe it's just me, but I really get annoyed watching five or six commercials, a kickoff downed in the end zone, then the same five or six commercials over again.

Who else is tired of hearing about what to do if you have a four-hour erection? My six-year old nephew once asked my mother, after one of those commercials, "What's an erection?" Talk about an awkward football moment.

This brings me to the on-air "talent". Now, I like Jaws. He's been in the trenches, you have to respect that , but where did they get that Tony guy? He really makes me ill. Nothing he says is even remotely funny, and he knows less about football than my nephew knows about four-hour erections.

Why do we put up with this? Because it's the only game on. They use the love we have for the game against us. I admit it, I'm a football junkie. I must get my fix, like any self-respecting drug addict, I'll gladly prostitute my body and mind to fill the craving. But it wasn't all ways as bad as this, and it gets worse every season.

Now, even the game itself is not as important as the interviews with celebrities in between plays. I would like to see the changes in personnel on the field, or more replays, instead we get to hear about some up coming movie the loser guest is in.

Am I the only one sick of Monday Night Football?