The New York Yankees will not be making the playoffs for the first time in Derek Jeter's career. The captain, along with closer Mariano Rivera and catcher Jorge Posada, have never had to experience what it was like for the offseason to begin in October.
What could Jeter do with his newfound free time? Here are the top 10 things he can do on his first October vacation!
10. Disguise himself as Nomar Garciaparra and play for Joe Torre and the L.A. Dodgers.
Derek loves "Mr. T" like a second father and would jump at the chance to play for him again, especially given the chance to win another ring. Garciaparra hasn't been himself since he left Boston, and it's pretty obvious that Mia Hamm-Garciaparra wouldn't mind the switch.
9. While in Hollywood, Derek should start acting more.
His resume already includes countless commercials, Saturday Night Live, Seinfeld, and Anger Management. With a little bit of work and his newfound free time, Jeter could rival Shaquille O'Neal as the next big superstar athlete to go into the movie business.
8. Work with a better IRS agent to help him get his taxes straight.
There is work to be done in New York and in Florida so that he doesn't have to go through another fiasco like he did last year.
7. Chain himself to Yankee Stadium.
Jeter just broke "the Iron Horse's" record for most hits at the "Old" Yankee Stadium, and nobody wants to see it go less than Derek does.
Seeing as how nobody will be playing there in October, Jeter should hold a peaceful sit-in as they continue work on the "New" Yankee Stadium across the street. Yogi Berra and Whitey Ford will come and join him, seeing as they also have nothing better to do.
6. Join Mike Francesa on his "Francesa on the FAN" radio show.
Mike and the Mad Dog was one of the most successful shows in sports radio history, but it has not been the same since Chris "Mad Dog" Russo left the show.
Mike needs some help, and who better to increase ratings than the "Golden Boy," Derek Jeter. New Yorkers would love to hear what Jeter's analysis of the Rangers or Knicks would be.
5. Become the interim US Ambassador for the United Nations.
Jeter already has a penthouse in Manhattan, so he wouldn't have to go very far. The United States needs to work on its relationship with the United Nations as it is, and who better to work on it than Jeter?
So what that he has never worked as a Foreign Service Officer before? He can't do much worse than any of the guys that the United States currently have.
4. Design his own clothing line.
Jeter already endorses his own "G2" drink and his own cologne, Driven, so why not get to work on his own clothing line.
If Tiger and His Airness can do it, there is no reason as to why the Turn2 or DJ clothing line cannot come out soon. Sean "Puffy" Combs makes millions on his Sean-John line, so Jeter should just talk to some of his people about it.
3. Enroll at NYU, Columbia, or Fordham University.
It's pretty hard for Jeter to tell kids that they should stay in school when he never went to college.
He could enroll for at least a semester's worth of classes at any area institution. This would not only come about as an enormous media stunt, but could set an unbelievable precedent for other athletes.
2. Get married!
Jeter continues to be the most available bachelor in New York, but he is getting up there in age. If he wants to settle down and have children of his own, he better get to it.
Granted, he will have 16-year-old girls swooning for him until he is 50...but that won't go over well in the marriage and family department.
1. Keep Alex Rodriguez out of trouble.
Now that A-Rod is going through his divorce, it gives him more opportunities to get negative attention from the media.
Jeter needs to keep an eye on A-Rod and keep him out of those strip clubs and away from Madonna. Maybe they should double date!
Derek probably won't do any of these things...But at least they would distract from the Red Sox game that will be on television.