BCS Championship Game: In Living Color
First, a caveat: I went to an SEC school.
That said, I'm sick and tired of fans and the media dismissing Ohio State in the BCS Championship Game...and I don't even like Ohio State!
I was talking to this girl I met recently, and the talk turned to sports. She's a huge hockey fan and she's from the South. (How I get so lucky I will never know.)
Yesterday, she brought up an interesting point about March Madness:
She said a lot of the girls she knows pick teams based on colors—and they often win their pools.
So that is what I will do here—let's analyze Ohio State and LSU based on their team colors.
LSU's colors are Royal Purple and Old Gold.
Ohio State is Scarlet and Gray.
Old Gold? Really? What is that? Does gold get old?
I know if I were walking along the street and found a bar of gold from the time of Cortez, I would look down at it and say, "Damn, that's some old gold!"
A note to LSU: Gold doesn't oxidize, so it pretty much looks the same all the time. It doesn't really get old, because, well...gold is gold. It's been here for a while—all of it.
Technically, all gold is old gold.
Personally, I think LSU should go with Old de Soto Gold Bar as their official color. It has a ring to it, and that way people know it refers to the color of gold as de Soto might have found it—which is to say, it would be the color of gold.
And then there's Scarlet.
According to that bastion of correct information, Wikipedia, Scarlet is traditionally the color of the flame.
I won't go there.
Wikipedia says Scarlet also describes the color of the blood of a living person. I must admit, that's pretty manly. Even if it is flaming.
For the record, Wikipedia says Old Gold is actually a different color—a darker shade of gold. But it also says that the Saints use the color.
You're diggin' your own grave LSU.
As for Royal Purple—Wikipedia has failed me on Royal Purple, as it just links me to the page for Purple. I already know what Purple is—it's the color of Prince.
I like Prince mainly because he painted Carlos Boozer's house purple. That was hilarious. Well, not to Carlos. He was pissed.
The Wikipedia page for purple does have variations of purple listed. Some of those include Psychedelic Purple, which is really cool, and Pansy Purple.
Yup, that's right—Pansy Purple.
Finally, let's look at the color Gray. Gray might very well be the most boring color, which is fitting in this case because Ohio State is in the Big Ten, and I can always count on a Big Ten game as nap time.
As we all know, there are shades of gray—many, many shades of gray. I even bet there's an "Old Gray." I wonder what shade of gray Ohio State goes with. I'm sorry, THE Ohio State.
No matter what, it's going to be boring, and it's going to be gray.
Anyway, after that rather long discussion, I think it's clear that I really should go to the local Michael's and buy a lot of paint and have myself a snack, or a sniffing party.
Based on the color analysis, though, I think Ohio State has the clear advantage in this one. I'm sorry LSU, you associated yourself with the Saints—that's just too much.
Of course, what do I know? God knows Ohio State has better school colors than the University of Florida—and all that got them last year was beat 'til they were the color of a baboon's ass.
Which is to say, they were Scarlet.
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Why is this article offensive?
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Why is this article poorly edited?