BCS Championship Game: A Completely Biased Fan’s Prediction

The unofficial betting line for the Championship Game makes Ohio State a five-point underdog, which is fine. If I were a betting man, I’d certainly take OSU as a five-point underdog.  Seems rational.

I’d also take the Buckeyes if they were five-point favorites.  That’s not the most rational thought, but it's not crazy or anything.

But here’s the catch:

Even if LSU were given 50 points, I’d still take the Buckeyes.  And you know why?

Because Ohio State is marching down into enemy waters at the New Orleans Superdome and obliterating the Tigers 60-3, give or take a few points.

LSU has never seen anything as pretty as Chris Wells.  Wells, the impenetrable, impregnable, (almost) invincible, indomitable I-Back who inspires immense irritability in defensive coordinators across the country, will run for approximately 500 yards and four touchdowns as the Tigers defenders are relentlessly punished for making fun of his nickname, “Beanie.”

James Laurinaitis, meanwhile, will finally release that fury instilled in him by his dad, the former pro wrestler affectionately known as “Road Warrior Animal.”  This will probably result in a few unsportsmanlike penalties as Mr. Laurinaitis performs the gorilla press drop and the right-hand punch with brass knuckles—two of Animal's signature moves—as an ode to his father. 

Nevertheless, the damage will be done, as those speedy LSU skill players everyone talks about will be dropping balls left and right.

But those skill players would have little or no chance anyways, because of the putrid performance we can expect from LSU senior quarterback Matt Flynn. 

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