10 Reasons to Hate Manchester United.

This article is not intended to offend Manchester United fans. However, If I succeed in doing so then that it is bonus!

This is a light hearted view of why I dislike Manchester United.

Saying that, Manure fans tend to get a bit tetchy so I very much look forward to being called a name or two.

So where do you begin with an article like this? There are literally millions of reasons to hate Manchester United. I would need a publisher and a wrist support to list them all. That being said I will keep it down to just 10,000. I mean 10.

1. Old Trafford

Fair enough it is a decent ground. I was fairly impressed the first time I had to visit. But the Theatre of Dreams??? There is nothing worse then somebody giving themselves a nickname, imagine if one of your friends suddenly started asking you to call him Eagle or Mr Love, you would hate him.

Make no mistake about it, this sickening nickname was not given by a neutral fan, it was given by some sad little man trying to compensate for the fact that the ground, even with its huge capacity, has no real atmosphere.

2. Come On You Reds

This abomination of a pop record was released in 1995 I think. It mixed Manchester United with Status quo...Surely that is enough. Highlights from this musical gem include the lyrics, "Come on you reds, come on you reds, just keep your bottle and use your heads" and "So Old Trafford let us hear you loud.Sing us on and we will do you proud".

Its sickening. The Anfield Rap was also a terrible song, but at least John Barnes rapping was funny!

3. Mr Ferguson's Timekeeping Skills

Mr Ferguson last year had the balls to note that Arsenal seemed to score a lot of goals late on in games. I seem to remember when Utd won one of their first championships that Steve Bruce scored a winning goal on the Monday morning after a Saturday kick-off, such was the amount of injury time.

Seriously, people have died waiting for Utd games to finish, the only reason ticket prices are so high at Old Trafford is that you are guaranteed 15 minutes extra football every game.

Unless they are winning of course, in which the whistle is usually blown around the 87th minute mark.

4. Merchandise

The only Utd merchandise i have ever bought is Manchester Utd official toilet paper...for obvious reasons.

I will give one example of why I hate the Manchester Utd merchandise machine. I live in Thailand, where they have a strong love of their King. People purchase yellow polo shirts with the Kings crest to show their love. I was looking at one such polo shirt in a shop a while back. The shirt was indistinguishable from all over polo shirts apart from one small detail. The label read an official Manchester United product...now not much can make me surprised about Utd—but cashing in on a nations love for its monarch takes the piss!

5. The Kits

Its common nowadays for teams to have a few different strips, however it was Utd I think who first had the idea of a European away fourth choice reserve goalkeeping commemorative left sock, only to be used when playing teams from the Balkan states idea, in order to cash in with gullible fans.

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