The Pursuit of Imperfection: Hopes for Futility in the Big Leagues

I spent all season hoping to watch a certain team post a zero in a certain column. 

But the Miami Dolphins just had to go out and win a game.

Now I gotta wait a whole year to see a team lose 'em all.

When a team is clearly the worst team in their league, why can't they just lose all their games, and let me be happy?

The Atlanta Hawks have been horrible for many years—yet they continue to pound out 20-win seasons like its nothing.

The Charlotte Bobcats were my hope in 2004.  Surely a team that is thrown together from players that weren't good to make a real NBA team could go out and lose all 82 games.  But apparently 82 is too high of a number for that kind of consistency.

The Kansas City Royals are atrocious.  But they can throw together enough wins to be kept out of the minors every year—even though they would probably be last in AAA ball as well.  But they can't lose all 162 games, even though they suck, year in and year out.

I was holding a hope for the Atlanta Falcons to go winless this year, but even the combination of Joey Harrington and Byron Leftwitch can win a couple.

The Baltimore Ravens would have finished 0-16 if they played all year how they played the end of the season.  And they just had to ruin the hopes of the Dolphins.

Football seams to be the only professional sport where a team can lose them all.  So why can't somebody keep the '76 Bucs from poppin' their champagne every year that the last team wins their first game?

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