So What Will Spurs Sing in Stratford?

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So What Will Spurs Sing in Stratford?
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Seeing as Chas and Dave are no longer together, they have assigned the responsibility of head chant-writer to ME!

Yep, here I am again, Weird Dave Stankovic (a subsidiary of Weird Al Yankovic) to brainstorm a few ideas for terrace chants with you should Spurs get the nightmare bid they've divided an entire club's fan base over. All other contributions from frequenters of the South Stand Wall of Sound are greatly appreciated.

Here we go then, let's start with the traditional song that plays when the Spurs players walk onto the pitch. Because...it will only become obsolete if it's not rewritten to suit Stratford:

Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
And the Spurs go moving on.

If we were to move, we would lose our history,
Stuck without our old team name and fucked by AEG.
How is that for keeping up our club stability?
As the Spurs go moving on....

Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
And the Spurs go moving on.

We're the pride of East London and we're 7 miles away!
We're the pride of East London and we're 7 miles away!
We're the pride of East London and we're 7 miles away!
As the Spurs go moving on...

Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
And the Spurs go moving on.

We'll have lots of supporters who will boycott every game.
We'll have lots of supporters who will boycott every game.
We'll have lots of supporters who will boycott every game.
As the Spurs go moving on...

Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
Glory Glory Stratford Hotspurs
And the Spurs go moving oooonnnn...

I'm sorry about butchering such a jolly, uplifting song into some joyless, funeral-marching song, but that's exactly how I feel right now over this morally-bankrupt, suicidal bid for the Olympic Stadium.

Next up, maybe one or two actual terrace chants to keep ourselves amused while Daniel Levy's ear twitches ever so slightly in reaction to our disdain at this proposal.

How about this little twist on an old frequent Cup-tie favourite:

Spuuuurs are on their way to Wembley!
Newham[?]'s gonna do it again[???]
Can't go through 'em, the boys from Newham,
The boys from [need help here...]

Or reverting another chant back to its original form, in this case, the rather half-arsed chant for Luka Modric going back to what it was before:

Na-na-naaa na
Na-na-naaa na
Hey heeyy
GOODBYE!

They just don't sound like they used to, do they?

Keith Burkinshaw will be forever hailed a genius with the statement, "There used to be a football club over there."

Yes Keith, there used to be, until money became more important than the fans who pay that money and the community who needs the club.

A wise statement, Sir. The wisest statement ever, up until the one in which Harry said, "Hey, I think I'll sign that Dutchman on the bench over there for £8 million."

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