The Hottest WAG Countries in Sports
On the fourth day, god created WAGs. Actually, it might have been the fifth day. Either way, there is a boatload of women and they are currently dating your favorite sports stars.
I don't know if it's the amazing physical attributes or the bank account, but chicks dig athletes. That really is one of the few constants in life. But we, the sports-going public, can take comfort in the fact that these hot women flock like moths to the flame to our great world of sports.
But of all the WAGs in the world, who is the greatest? Better yet, which country produces the best, brightest hotties in Wagdom? Well, I have gone to great pains to dissect the subtle nuances that are WAGs.
What you have here is a ranking of the top WAG-producing countries to date. Here is how they line up.
10. Sweden: Oksana Andersson
Athlete: Christian Wilhelmsson
Oksana is a fair-skinned Swede that was originally born in the Soviet Union. Swedish gentleman can take pride that she has taken up citizenship there.
She is dating Al Hilal footballer Christian Wilhelmsson, who I am sure has no problem with Oksana laying around the sofa like this.
Sweden: Emma Andersson
Athlete: Henrik Zetterberg
Even hockey players with their cracked-tooth smiles get some love. The Detroit Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg is married to this television hostess.
It is such a shame that I never learned to skate. I am sure that is all it takes to get a girl like Emma.
9. France: Zahia Dehar
Athlete: Franck Ribery
Ah, those French men and their love of sex and the scandals they bring. The French soccer player once shacked up with Zahia, allegedly when she was underage.
Well, she is all grown up now. So feel free to peruse her curves to your delight.
France: Noemie Lenoir
Athlete: Claude Makelele
Footballers may be skilled but not all that bright. Claude Makalele cheated then lost this gem. Some guys just don't know a good thing when they have it. Well, I would.
I may have a shot at Noemi. I just don't have the necessary bank account or physical attributes she is most likely looking for. I am good at Scrabble, though.
France: Beatrice Trezeguet
Athlete: David Trezeguet
Here is the super-hot Beatrice with some dude that plays soccer. I am glad to see that there is at least a little scoring going on in the world's favorite game.
8. Russia: Victoria Lopyreva
Athlete: Alexander Ovechkin
If you are into legs, and lets be honest, who isn't, you need not look further than Ovechkin's beauty Victoria Lopyreva.
Now if you need me, I'll be admiring this photo for the next few weeks.
Russia: Maria Sharapova
Athlete: Sasha Vujacic
Here is proof positive that you do not need to be an All-Star to bag a beautiful woman. New Jersey Nets brick artist Sasha Vujacic is engaged to the tennis star.
I'm not hating. I just wish this news helped his jump shot a little.
Russia: Irina Shayk
Athlete: Cristiano Ronaldo
There are are certain times in life where it is necessary to shout "great googly moogly." Coming into contact with Irina Shayk is one of them.
This is also another reason that I find it hard to like Ronaldo as a person.
7. Slovakia and Czech Republic: Adriana Karembeu
Athlete: Christian Karembeu
It is every man's dream to date and marry a super model. That dream became reality for footballer Christian Karembeu.
The only difference between us is a sweet hair style. Yup, I think that is about it.
Slovakia and Czech Republic: Alena Seredova
Athlete: Gianluigi Buffon
If you are feeling down and out, a surefire cure is to stare at some Alena Seredova pictorials. They have proved vital to curing depression and perhaps even world hunger. The latter may need further testing.
Slovakia and Czech Republic: Andrea Veresova
Athlete: Jaromir Jagr
Behind those covers lies the holy grail of male desires. It is too bad that Andrea is out of your league. You would have to be a legendary hockey player to nab her.
Even then, Jaromir was unable to keep a hold of this beauty.
6. Argentina: Yesica Toscanini
Athlete: Juan Roman Riquelme
I find it difficult to believe that a woman this hot actually exists. I think I need to see it firsthand to make sure. Yup, that is what needs to happen. I must meet this Yesica, if that is even her real name.
Argentina: Soledad Tandino
Athlete: Gonzalo Higuain
I don't know about you but I am getting pretty damn tired of soccer players hogging up all the women. Leave some for us non-athletic types to have.
It just goes to show you that soccer players really are the most greedy athletes in the world.
Argentina: Zaira Nara
Athlete: Diego Forlan
The Uruguay soccer genius snatched up this Argentine beauty. Now she lays all day in bed looking hot. Just kidding, I am sure she does other things.
I just happen to not care what they are.
5. Spain: Sara Carbonero
Athlete: Iker Casillas
Here is Spanish sports reporter and girlfriend to Iker Casillas, Sara Carbonero. She is so hot that many believed she distracted Iker in last year's World Cup.
I think those that believe that may be on to something. She definitely derailed any plans that I had today.
Spain: Eva Gonzalez
Athlete: Cayetano Rivera
Eva is now dating bullfighter Cayetano Rivera. She must be into danger. That takes me out of the running. I have to leave my house if I even hear a rumor of there being a spider nearby.
Spain: Elisabeth Reyes
Athlete: Sergio Ramos
When a woman is insanely beautiful, you can look the other way on some things. I still think she should learn how to properly sit on a chair, though. That's just me.
Spain: Ariadne Artiles
Athlete: Iker Casillas
Iker Casillas has to be public enemy number two behind Ronaldo in the soccer world. He once dated this fine femme before moving onto Sara Carbonero.
Maybe I should put on some Mickey Mouse gloves and learn to sometimes stop a ball from going into net. I may be better at it than Iker. I certainly have more body mass than he does.
4. Italy: Rosaria Cannavo
Athlete: Antonio Cassano
Our next stop brings us to romantic Italy. A land filled with pasta, leaning towers, the pope and hot women. Rosaria falls into the hot women category, if you are scoring at home.
Italy: Francesca Lodo
Athlete: Cristiano Zanetti
I have to say, I have never loved and at the same time hated a tiny shirt so much in my life. Let them free Francesca, let them roam free.
Italy: Federica Ridolfi
Athlete: Giuliano Giannichedda
Let me tell you right here and now, the women at my gym do not look like this, nor do they train in the same way.
Just kidding. I don't go to the gym.
Italy: Giorgia Palmas
Athlete: Fabio Galante
Move along. Nothing to see here. Except for the traffic-stopping backside of Giorgia Palmas, of course. I have to say there would be a lot less war if there were more pictures like this.
Italy: Melissa Satta
Athlete: Christian Vieri
Then there would be Melissa Satta. She is an Italian model and proof that god does exist and he is most definitely a man.
3. England: Sonia Wild
Athlete: Ashley Cole
This is the woman that drove a stake through Ashley and Cheryl Cole. He allegedly sent pictures of, um, himself to her last year.
Who would have thought that merry ol' England would have their very own Brett Favre?
England: Victoria Beckham
Athlete: David Beckham
We sometimes forget how gorgeous Mrs. Beckham is. That is quite the travesty seeing as those things should never go a day without mention.
England: Danielle Lloyd
Athlete: Jamie O'Hara
Danielle is somewhat of a bad girl. She made racist comments while on Big Brother and was also stripped of her Miss Britain title after she posed naked for Playboy.
It seems she would fit right in here in the States.
England: Gemma Atkinson
Athlete: Marcus Bent
I want to give a personal shout-out to my main man Gravity. He is doing a bang-up job on my home girl Gemma.
That there would be the whole package, in case you were wondering.
England: Abigail Clancy
Athlete: Peter Crouch
A lot of people knock Peter Crouch for being so goofy-looking. I knock him for cheating on his beautiful girl Abigail.
I would also like to throw in that he is goofy-looking.
England: Cheryl Cole
Athlete: Ashley Cole
Cheryl Cole was married to footballer Ashley Cole until he cheated on her. Someone should inform Mr. Cole that you can not trade up from perfection.
Try as you might, there is nothing higher than heavenly.
2. USA: Joanna Garcia
Athlete: Nick Swisher
USA, USA. The land of milk and honey is one of the most prolific in the department of women. We have hotties from all cultural and ethnic backgrounds.
It is a good thing, too. Now we get to enjoy WAGs like the half-Cuban Joanna Garcia.
USA: Bianca Kajlich
Athlete: Landon Donovan
I will see your international hottie soccer WAGs and raise you one Bianca Kajlich. Landon and Bianca have been on again and off again for a while.
For his sake, I hope they are on again soon.
USA: Jessica Simpson
Athlete: Eric Johnson
She went from Tony Romo to Eric Johnson. Well, there is no accounting for taste. But I do have to say that I am glad she is in WAGland to stay.
USA: Kristin Cavallari
Athlete: Jay Cutler
Say what you want about reality TV. It has produced some fine women. No one illustrates that point more than the talented Kristin Cavallari.
Okay, talented is a bit much. How about the sexy Kristin Cavallari. Yes, that's better.
USA: Minka Kelly
Athlete: Derek Jeter
Minka Kelly drew the ire of millions of women who pine for Derek Jeter by getting engaged to the shortstop. It is fitting, as the male race pines for the gorgeous Minka Kelly on a daily, possibly hourly, basis.
1. Brazil: Fabiana Semprebom
Athlete: Guillermo Canas
That there would be the closest you will get to achieving your dreams. How does it feel to peak at a ripe young age as you view one of the most stunning women you have ever laid eyes on?
Well, I am fine with it. I have very low personal goals.
Brazil: Adriana Lima
Athlete: Marko Jaric
I dare you to pick out the best assets of Adriana Lima. Okay, that was entirely too easy. I mean the things are almost posted in 3D.
Brazil: Izabel Goulart
Athlete: Marcelo Costa
The running theme here is that chicks dig football players. That takes me out of the running as the only amount of physical strain I put on myself daily is reaching for the remote, and then the bag of chips. The I go back to the remote, and back again.
Brazil: Gisele Bundchen
Athlete: Tom Brady
Brazil gets a huge boost from the hottest woman on the planet. There is nary a defect on her, except for her underachieving husband. Just kidding, Patriots fans.