NBA's Top 10 Ugliest Players and The NBA First-Team All-Ugly
In the NBA, we see a lot of things that are awesome and very good-looking. From Kobe Bryant's fadeaway jump shots to Blake Griffin's throwdown dunks, we have seen our fair share of beautiful looking plays this year. The thing I would like to talk about is the ugly players in the NBA.
Sometimes, I feel very sorry for these professionals who have to show their face in an arena full of fan on a day-to-day basis and be looked at by people with disgust.
These players have no regard for their hygiene and would not have much else going for them if they did not have basketball. This may even cost them certain endorsements because they are not good-looking celebrities.
In addition, I will also provide a list of who I think makes the NBA All-Ugly First Team.
10. Andrei Kirilenko, SF Utah Jazz
Kirilenko has had great success in the NBA. He plays hard on the defensive side of the ball and takes advantage of his scoring opportunities. Kirilenko hails from Russia and his looks are extremely sad considering there are girls like Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova hailing from Russia. This small forward is always in the national spotlight because Utah has consistently put out good teams.
I watched the Rocky series with Sylvestor Stallone the other day and saw a perfect comparison with Ivan Drago. Seriously, Google it. Kirilenko ridiculously compares to Drago's appearance, with the sleeked blond hair and serious over protruding chin. Lastly, they both hail from Russia and are very tall.
Thankfully, we don't have to see Drago anymore unless we watch Rocky devour opponents. But, we still have to see Kirilenko's hideousness on the court.
9. Hedo Turkoglu, SF Orlando Magic
The Orlando Magic star has been a key piece to that lineup and it was good that he got traded back to the Magic. The Turkish small forward has been successful at many teams across the NBA included the Sacramento Kings, San Antonio Spurs and most notably with the Magic.
Hedo has no hygiene but apparently he is a funny person. If he were not funny and a great shooter, he would not have a good position in life. I'm fairly sure he's had trouble getting a decent date in his life. I just think he needs to shave every once in awhile. He's hideous, but there is much worse in the NBA.
8. Popeye Jones, Retired
Popeye Jones is no sailor and certainly did not eat eat any spinach at all either by glancing at his build. The 6'8" forward was a great rebounder, but unfortunately the fans had to look at that hideousness every time the ball came off the rim.
I didn't quite see Jones' resemblance with Popeye the Sailor. The sailor has tiny ears and squinty eyes while Jones has large protruding ears and huge eyes. His eyes kind of remind me of the pug dog breed.
Jones once secured 28 rebounds in a game for the Dallas Mavericks. I'm surprised the maintenance crew did not have to replace the backboard glass every time he went up for a rebound. He's so hideous, he can break the glass. It must be tough looking in the mirror everyday when you wake up. He actually reminds me of Sloth from “The Goonies.”
7. Luis Scola, PF/C Houston Rockets
Luis Scola has had a successful international basketball career. This Argentinean has had success in the NBA and Euroleague. He even has a gold medal from Argentina’s win in the 2004 Olympics.
It’s just unfortunate that his long hair looks terrible and his facial hair doesn’t make up for it either. He reminds me of Russell Brand, except Brand actually has a decent looking wife in Katy Perry. Wow, what celebrity status can get you.
6. Calvin Booth, Free Agent
The 6’11" PF/C is a walking ugly poster. Him being one of the taller players on the basketball court does not help. Booth has been shuffled around the league to many teams including the Washington Wizards, Dallas Mavericks, Seattle SuperSonics, Milwaukee Bucks, Philadelphia 76ers, Minnesota Timberwolves and Sacremento Kings.
Booth is just not the best looking dude. He even had braces at one point in his NBA career. While his teeth may look better, it doesn’t help to see a prolonged face and cheesy looking smile.
5. Chris Kaman, C LA Clippers
Chris Kaman’s long hair just does not look very good. The center has not had the success in the NBA that many thought would pan out. The only thing that the scouts have seen is a longhaired guy with a seven foot frame of pure ugliness.
The worse thing is that Kaman has progressively gotten more ugly as his career has progressed. Isn’t it the other way around when your game should progress? I guess not in Chris’ case.
4. Joakim Noah, PF/C Chicago Bulls
One would not think that Noah is the son of a Swedish model and a French tennis star. I thought I saw a dinosaur going up and down the court but then I realized dinosaurs were extinct. The Chicago Bulls star has buffed up his play, but has not used his millions of dollars to fix those gapped teeth.
The guy is just a clown. Every time I look at him, I literally want to laugh. His long hair is the most hideous thing that needs to be cut and his facial hair looks extremely nasty.
3. Gheorghe Muresan
Muresan is one of the tallest to grace the floors of the NBA. The 7'7" Romanian had a short career in the NBA, but did earn the NBA Most Improved Player one year.
Mureson has a huge nose and not the best looking tall guy. The pictures speak for themselves.
2. Tyrone Hill, Retired
Hill is definitely one of the ugliest players to play in the NBA. The PF/C has had a long career in the NBA with Golden State, Cleveland, Milwaukee, Philadelphia and Miami.
His face looks like it has a lack of muscle tissue. Hill also deeply indented eyes, which make him extremely scary looking. Hill almost made number one.
1. Sam Cassell, Retired
Sam Cassell is the ugliest player in the NBA. When I was a kid, I used to watch the NBA when the Minnesota Timberwolves were actually good. Cassell, who was their starting point guard, would hit a jump shot and my father would exclaim, “Ugly Sam Cassell.”
Cassell is so ugly that he is compared to the movie character E.T. He literally looks like an alien, but did not phone home. I cannot stand looking at his big, bald head carry the basketball up and down the court. Unfortunately, it sucks that he was a point guard.
Charlie Villanueva, PF Detroit Pistons
DJ Mbenga, C New Orleans Hornets
Pau Gasol, C LA Lakers
Chris Anderson, C Denver Nuggets
Greg Ostertag, Retired
Anderson Varajeo PF/C Cleveland Cavaliers
Dikembe Matumbo, Retired
Greg Oden, PF Portland Trailblazers
Robert Swift, C Tokyo Apache
NBA First- Team All-Ugly
PG: Sam Cassell
SG: Hedo Turkoglu (We moved him to SG because he’s the most versatile ugly on the list)
SF: Andrei Kirilenko
PF: Tyrone Hill
C: Gheorge Muresan
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