Building The Perfect Woman's Game In The Era Of Ball Bashers

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Women’s tennis has sunk to a new low.

Venus Williams is an ailing force, even on grass, and is unlikely to make any headway into winning an elusive non-grass major.

The Belgian duo of Kim and Justine are part-time players, unwilling to take their responsibilities as the new prima donnas of the tour.

And Serena Williams is missing, unable to take her rightful place as the true world No. 1.

After a brief pause, with Serena Williams acting as caretaker world No. 1 with Dinara sustaining a back injury, the WTA has returned to its roots. Dinara Safina has officially handed over the Presidency of the slamless number one club over to Caroline Wozniacki.

And snapping at her heels is another slam-less No. 2, Vera Zvonereva.

All is normal in the WTA.

And by normal I mean in a state so absolutely horrendous I could cry and mourn for the early 2000’s.

Contrary to the views of many, the WTA is talented: there are many women who have been forced to be ball-bashers, because the times, and the surfaces no longer need a woman capable of volleying.

Or indeed, anything aside from a good pair of legs and some ball striking ability.

In mourning of this, I've decided to create the perfect woman's player, celebrating what the tour could be.

Forehand: Serena Williams

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This was tough, but Serena just edges out the competition because of the shot's power and relative stability, and because of its sheer explosiveness.

When it's on, almost no other forehand can compete.

Notable others: Venus Williams, Ana Ivanovic, Justine Henin, Kim Clijsters, Sam Stosur

Fitness: Caroline Wozniacki

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The one thing our new No. 1 has in spades, fitness.

Without it, she wouldn't even be in the top 5.

She uses it to outrun and outlast opponents, forcing them to go for too much, a bit like Rafa.

Two Handed Backhand: Tie

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A tie between the two 2004 Wimbledon finalists.

Maria's is a beautiful closed backhand and offers power and stability, often setting up winners for her forehand.

Serena's can strike a winner from any position on the court using an open stance, cross-court, down the line, you name it, she can do it.

Notable others: Venus Williams, Kim Clijsters

One Handed Backhand: Justine Henin

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Absolutely no competition here, beating out all the others in substance, power, style and versatility.

She can do anything with this beautiful backhand, and with power to boot.

Definitely one of Henin's many weapons.

Movement And Speed: Tie

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I just couldn't pick, remember that I'm judging these at their best.

Venus was like a Steffi Graf reborn in the early days, but Kim Clijsters is more consistent and has better footwork.

Notable Others: Caroline Wozniacki

Net Play: Justine Henin

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Exquisitie volleys, great touch, great movement, versatile... what more could you want?

Well, maybe a bigger wingspan, but you can't have it all right?

Notable Others: Venus Williams

Serve: Serena Williams

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No competition here, second fastest of all time, 89 aces in one tournament, most consistent shot in women's tennis "The best serve in women's tennis ever"... its list of accolades go on forever.

This is the one shot that Serena can trust when everything fails, it carried her through those matches between Shahar Peer and Nadia Petrova in AO 2007, it allowed her to win in her epic semifinal with Dementieva in 2009, and it allowed her to dominate Wimbledon last year.

Simple, effective motion, clean hitting, consistent, powerful second serve = Complete domination

Notable Others: Venus Williams, Sam Stosur

Mental Toughness: Serena Williams

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Kidding! It was Elena Dementieva!

No, I was joking there.

But I'm serious when I say that Serena Williams is the Queen of Comebacks.

Whether it was her spirited wins over Shahar Peer and Nadi Petrova in 2007, or her saving of 3 match points against Clijsters in 2003, or saving one against Elena in 2009, or the way she saved another 3 match points against Maria in 2005 or coming back 15-30 down on her own serve down a set and love 40 against an Azarenka on fire.

Take your pick, but I doubt any woman could come back from the brink of defeat the way she did then.

This is the one thing that separates her from the rest of the tour, the rest o0f the big 4, Clijsters, Venus and Henin have nothing on Serena in this department.

Notable Others: Maria Sharapova (Tough as nails, but can't win even when playing badly like Serena)

Intimidation: Serena Williams

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Nothing Scarier than this woman here, nothing.

Notrable Others: Maria Sharapova, Justine Henin

Returns: Serena Williams

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There's nothing scarier than serving and seeing this woman across the net, because you know that if you don't chuck a good serve at her, she will pound it back for a winner.

Notable Others:Maria Sharapova, Venus Williams

Marketability

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Just to end on a high note, and ending the complete domination of Serena.

This is an important aspect today, and there's clearly one front runner here, Maria, with Ana snapping at her heels.

Notable Others: Daniela Hantuchova, Maria Kirilenko