Jason Whitlock's Sept. 11 Act Of Journalistic Terror

Jason Whitlock’s 9-11 Act of Journalistic Terror

By BOBBY METZINGER

Seven years to the day four jet fuel-laden planes did more to damage the American psyche than a French arm-raising convention, Kansas City Star sports columnist Jason Whitlock penned the most career-damaging note since Martin Luther hammered his 95 Thesis on the doors of the Castle Church in Wittenberg.

With the New England Patriots staring death in the face without All-World QB and runway model Tom Brady (who ironically did not approve of Peter Griffin’s exuberant touchdown dance in an episode of Family Guy), Whitlock begs the front office of the New England Patriots, a franchise that has won three Super Bowls, to sign former University of Illinois and All-Kroger bagman Jeff George to fill the void left by Brady.

Did I miss something here?

To put it metaphorically speaking, it would be like asking the Vatican to remove Pope Benedict and replace him with the corpse of Karl Wojtyla, better known to the world as the late Pope John Paul II. Of course, this would never happen. But then again, in Whitlock's world, anything is possible.

Or to look at it pragmatically, it would be like taking Jimmy Page out of Led Zeppelin and replacing him with Weird Al. Would it be a Stairway to 7-11?

Now Whitlock might be joking around; sure, September 11, 2008 might be a slow day in the world of Kansas City sports, but for God’s sake, can we focus our efforts somewhere other than Jeff George, a man who’s name hasn’t been uttered in serious conversation since the Gulf War?

No one wants to see Jeff George in any other uniform other than the red Kroger apron he dons ever day at work. The only completed pass George has made was throwing a roll of paper towels to the kid in produce to clean up a spill.

Jason Whitlock officially murdered journalism today. It was preceded in death by reading.

Luckily for Whitlock, Judge Lance Ito is presiding.

There’s another name we didn’t need to hear.

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